Christmas Carols

[ZatarRufus]

A VISIT FROM ST. BLIZZARD
by ZatarRufus
(With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore or Henry Livingston, Jr.)


'Twas the night before Patchmas, when all through the realms
Not a creature was stirring, nor dropping cheap helms.
The modem sat ready, connected with care,
In hopes that One-Ten soon would be there.

Some players were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of fair games danced in their heads;
And I at my 'puter, a lonely ol' chap,
Had just settled down to consider a nap,

When out of the blue there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my senses to see what was the matter.
Away to my Windows I flew like a flash,
Clicked open my browser and deleted some trash.

The screensaver now off, the monitor did glow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniture link, for One-Ten is now here.

With a move of the mouse, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment I'd give it a click.
More rapid than snails the electrons they came,
And I whistled, and shouted, while I updated my game.

Now, Stopping! now, Starting! now, Pausing and Sending!
On, Data! on, Packets! on, Fixes and Mending!
To my computer and hard drive, ere I did call;
Now load away! load away! load away all!

As programs will do when data does fly,
The sectors were written; in sequence they lie,
So across my desktop my pointer it flew,
And finding the icon, I knew what to do.

And then, in a twinkling, I saw on my screen
The dancing of pixels so bright and so keen.
As I drew in my hand, and was clicking around,
Each little intro began with a sound.

The game looked as before, even the menu,
Then I saw One-Ten and chose to continue,
A bundle of changes, Blizz promised me that,
I hope this is good, I thought while I sat.

Create a new character, how joyous and merry,
Or start with a mule for things I can't carry?
And what of the Rogue I'll soon have in tow?
She'll sling some arrows and needs a good bow.

What of a Necro who fights with his teeth,
And encircles the monsters with a bone prison wreath?
Maybe a Barbarian with a muscular belly,
And weapons to pound all creatures to jelly.

Perhaps wait for a mod, if I could play as an elf,
And I laughed at this concept, in spite of myself.
A character here's better, I'd read;
For playing this way, I have nothing to dread.

Another click of the mouse, I did with a jerk,
And character named, I hoped it would work.
Loading screen finished, the Rogue camp arose,
And late as it is, I ought to click close.

Off to the Blood Moor, I soon gave a whistle,
For there was a Quill Rat shooting a missile.
The patch was now running, a wonderful sight,
Happy Patchmas to all, and to all a good fight!