I find this really sad

[Occhidiangela]

Point 1. My son, 11, enjoys immensely your handle. I explained to him that I had met you via Diablo, the game, and that you were a pretty witty guy. He put together, for himself, your relationship to Arthur, King of (the who?) the Britons.

Point 2. Right on, insofar as Who's Old School? :D

Point 3.

Francisco from dii.net has a pretty good sense of humor. I also believe he made the whole damned thing up for a giggle or two. I present the evidence.

Where do you live?
by Francisco
You may be saying, "Well I'm a hardcore gamer too, I'm as pathetic as you are." No, young grasshopper, no.  An important side note, I live in Texas. Summer in Texas can get a hot as a grumpy old man's fart. Hot indeed.

Is this guy funny yet? I like him already! :)

Finally after all that hard work I could play some game called Diablo that all of my friends are talking about. The first time that I walked down into that dungeon and slayed mister undead skeleton dude, I was in awe. I thought to myself, "For all that is good and holy on the earth, (salivating and wide eyed) this is the greatest game EVER!." The next few months of my life was filled with bad grades in school and awesome items in Diablo. My social life collapsed as I pushed away all of my friends. They would ask me to come over and I would reply with, "No....ummm, I've got to organize my sock drawer by color." At that particular time, my day went something like this.
1. Wake up at 5a.m. to play Diablo
2. Wait till the last 5 minutes and then go to school
3. Think about all the cool stuff I'm gonna do in Diablo, when I get home
4. Get home, play Diablo till midnight

Aye, understood, how is this a problem? (Tongue still in cheek, I like this guy so far. Humor is one of those things . . . )

   The time flys when you are having fun, as does money. My parents no longer opted to pay for my Ultima costs, and I was left with no Ultima Online.  But by then was up it was my birthday and I was up to recieve 100 bucks.  With it I planned to buy Diablo II for one reason, it offered secure gameplay on "realms" and insured everyone that this game would not go down as its predecessor had.

Whatta rube. And still funny.

Diablo II rekindled my love for the Diablo series. 5 classes and tons of skills. A great game in the name of great games.  Freeplay on battle.net also insured that I could play for as long as I want, without worrying about cost to my parents. (snip)

All of my time and energy went into this game.

I actually dropped out of school, but it was not to play the game, it was a personal decision.

Sure it was. :P

  I met myself a girl and had a child.

Uh, either she had a child, or "we" had a child, but you did not have a child, pal. :P If he really had a child with her, let's say he would not have written what he did.

  I was seventeen, a high school dropout with his GED, and I had a kid.  Times were tough, but at least I still had my Diablo II (by then I had also acquired the xpac).

F*** pampers, I need a Guillame's Face! :P I hope the little lady liked to play too, or I smell that most horrible of curses: Marital Discord (Noobromancer skill, level 69)

  Now, in the present not much has changed except my age.

Too damned true for all of us, eh?

  As for my body, well, its not too pretty. 6'0 tall and 190lbs, I'm actually very lean except for my ass. Which I guess is a byproduct of sitting on it for so many years. I still live in the same place, on my computer, and probably will for a very long time. Gaming makes me happy so why not do it? Live where you want to live, all that really matters is your happiness.

Assuming the tongue left the cheek at some point . . .

Actually, mon frere, now that you have a child, what matters is that kid. Your ass you can take care of with the Bun and Thigh Master, or by taking a walk with your wife, for about two miles, every evening after dinner. My dad and mom did that for years, and they still do it. They have been married for 50 years, and they are both fit and healthy and still very much in love. Take a page from their book, dear Francisco, and you too may actually find happiness that has nothing to do with the Rune Word "Passion."

[quote] If someone were to ask me, "If you could change one thing about your life what would it be?" I guess I would have to answer honestly and say, "I wish there were two of me so I could level up twice as fast.

by Francisco

[quote]

Either start taking those walks, or put the kid up for adoption, or start saving money for child support payments, she's gonna walk sooner or later.

A hard core gamer you be, but you are not hopeless . . . yet.

As a troll, though, it was a good story. :)