DOMA and Prop 8. Both History.

[eppie]

There is that, and I agree. As society got bigger, the ceremonial aspect got smaller, and ultimately what used to be a big deal is now just another license. As an older man, I applaud the end to bigotry, yet I grieve for our loss of ceremonial importance. It's just another part of how the "melting pot" dissolves the differences between us -- in both good and bad ways. Marriage can mean many things in many cultures, which is why really in a secular multicultural society, the more we do not encode it into law, the better off we'll find ourselves. How about polygamy?

I am not saying anything against ceremony. I guess in most european countries you do a marriage for the state and if you want the one for the church. Even in the more religious countries.
And the church one, is for those who choose to have one always the most traditional and abundant.
So this seems like a very good compromise. Just go, the two of you, to city hall to sign a document, and then do the 'real' thing with friends and family in church with a 3000 dollar dress a 2000 dollar cake and 250 guests. Even in France things go like that.

Regarding my regrets; for example, I'm a full blooded swede and I like the Santa Lucia part of Dec. 13th ceremony where a girl dressing in a white dress with a red sash round her waist and wears a crown of lingonberry branches and candles on her head. Which was based on an ancient pagan festival of light, in the midst of the darkness. As a Swede in America, I've lost this tradition, and I mourn that loss. If I had a daughter, I'd probably encourage the rebirth of this tradition in our home. In the same way, for me, marriage is more than a license or a contract, and the state can go to hell. They've tied too many laws to it now to unravel it, but I can still regret its purpose being diluted socially.

Again, I'm really, really happy that people are getting "equal protection", as they should... But, it was wrong to have discriminated in favor of married people in the first place.

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My second son was born on Lucia. There was a choir walking around the hospital (and maternity ward) to sing songs. Meanwhile we missed our oldest sons Lucia celebration at daycare.

Anyway, just book a plane ticket to Stockholm around that date and enjoy the festivities....the world is small.