6 Worst "Vacations" People Actually Pay For

[kandrathe]

Help make this #7, what was your worst vacation ?

It wasn't mine, but it was my sisters. Her and her husband decided while at a conference in Japan, to take an extra week and visit Thailand. She found what looked to be an excellent adventure; Hike up part of a mountain to camp, travel by elephant from the camp to a mountain cave, spelunking through the cave through the mountain, white water river raft trip back to the origin.

1) The Hike -- takes all of the first day, and like most rain forests, it rains most of the morning. She was sopping wet, hiking in her wet clothes in a tropical deluge. Then the sun comes out in the afternoon, and beyond now being wet, she was very hot and sweaty. By the time she got to the camp where she was to sleep, everything she brought with was drenched. It remained humid and hot, and she could barely sleep except that she was exhausted from the hike. But, she kept her spirits up, and nursed her blistered feet, because tomorrow she didn't need to hike, and was to ride the elephants!

2) The elephant ride -- She had fondly thought back to the Barnum and Baily circus and those well trained, lovable elephants she saw at the circus. These were not them. These animals are hardly under the control of their handlers. They frequently yanked out small 2" round trees and would smack the riders with the handler yelling, kicking and screaming at the animal. During her trip, an elephant reached back with its trunk, grabbed a handler by the leg a flung him off and went storming off through the jungle with 4 helpless tourists (Dutch I believe) screaming in panic. She didn't see them the remainder of the trip. I did mention that in the rain forest it rains every morning, well yes, it was a wet ride on a semi-wild elephant through a rain forest deluge, which was only slightly more tolerable than slogging up the mountain on blistered feet. She was wet, kissed the jungle mud, and made a blessing to whatever forest deities these natives worship that she was one of those to make it alive to the cave. She spent another miserable night, where exhaustion was the blessing that brought her sleep.

3) The cave -- ok, now for some adventure, she thought. Again, she was thinking, like in the US, where there is a nice path, and it's... you know... safe. No, she was clinging to sheer walls on slippery paths, fearing the deadly drops into inky black chasms. Then, the cave got narrower so they could no longer stand, so they had to stoop, then crawl, and also it was colder, in their wet, wet, wet clothes. And, yes, the cave is wet, carved by eons of torrential rains, which also happened to be pouring through the places where they had to crawl. The only light was from the guides, and their bamboo torches. Then, they had to slither on their bellies, through tiny passages. And, finally, the torches went out, due to the lack of breathable air. She recounted having to leap in the dark, over gaps in the path, not knowing how far they would fall if they did not make it. Ok, so, by mid day, she emerged from the "adventure" of spelunking through a *real* mountain cave. Again, she was thankful, that their party had managed to avoid what seemed to be certain death.

4) The white water -- Again, she had imagined those scenes from Colorado, where there are these large rubber rafts, and the people ride in them, with things like life preservers. No, no. The guides went out into the jungle, and chopped down some bamboo, and lashed them together into bundles. Then, she had to kind of ride them down the raging river, like a bucking bronco. Again, this is the third day, of being entirely drenched, and having everything she brought with her entirely drenched. So, the prospect of sitting in the river, with water up to her belly, riding a bundle of bucking bamboo down the side of a mountain is not anymore distasteful than having to back track the way she came. Luckily, my sisters raft held together, unlike two of the other rafts, where the guides, and tourists were left being swept down the river desperately clinging to poles of bamboo. She made it back to the starting place, glad it was over and vowing to always check with someone who had actually been through it, before ever agreeing to something like this again.

It was a memorable event. She would never do it again, nor recommend it to anyone who isn't up for *real* adventure. She considered the brochure, false advertising. Now, she would be content with the Crossword Cruise. It is one of those life adventures, that you can look back on and laugh about.