06-28-2003, 02:03 AM
(This post was last modified: 06-28-2003, 06:02 PM by Count Duckula.)
Cheaters ain't easy to catch but they're easy to find.
They'd rather hear Pindle get busted than your piece of mind.
Shiny white rings and Ith-studded weapons,
and each game begins the grief play.
You won't understand 'em, an' if Blizzard don't catch 'em,
They'll go get GFrazier to say:
"Oh,
Players, don't let your users go out and be cheaters.
Don't download the trainers or do them old dupes.
We're catchin' the bad guys to give 'em the scoop.
Players, don't let your users go out and be cheaters.
'Cos they'll break all the rules and call you all fools
Even when they're in the wrong."
Cheaters like low-level newbies and joining in parties,
Fast access to waypoints and lag time and high-powered toys.
Them that don't like 'em will know 'em and them that don't,
most times will learn how to take 'em.
They ain't wrong, they're just different or that's how they think
they get by with their illegal joys.
(But then, of course, Blizzard's going to release the 1.10 patch, which is supposed to end maphack, delete dupes, find Saddam Hussein, cure cancer, and other miraculous wonders, but we all know Blizzard's track record about these things, in which case the patch will only delay maphack, label dupes, give pretty good directions on how to find Hussein's son's wife's uncle's second-cousin-removed's ex-chiropractor's gardener, and cure Cancer, the zodiac symbol, all the while introducing new gimmicks to lure the legit community back to the game, for all the "spunk" has gone out of the realms ever since the cheaters started taking over, unless you count what the Battle.net wankers have been doing to their keyboards; as the patch will be a hopelessly endearing but ultimately futile effort on Blizzard's part to woo the legitimate players into the game, players will no doubt feel like the Blizzard design team is a 8-week-old golden retriever puppy who just made water on your expensive Persian rug--yeah, it's an inconvenience, but how can you chastise something that darn CUTE, and as a special bonus Blizzard's going to release patches 1.11-1.82 to try and fix 1.10's "design flaws" (read: gamebreaking bugs) and keep stacking on the patches filled with fixes and incentives until D2's so old that the Powers That Be at Microsoft Vivendi Entertainment pull poor old GFrazier, the International Public Relations Man of Mystery, out of stasis to deliver another reassuring warning to the moron-bloated Battle.net forums, saying:)
"Oh,
Players, don't let your users go out and be cheaters.
Don't download the trainers or do them old dupes.
We're catchin' the bad guys to give 'em the scoop.
Players, don't let your users go out and be cheaters.
'Cos they'll break all the rules and call you all fools
Even when they're in the wrong."
(Hey everybody, sing along!)
"Players, don't let your users go out and be cheaters..."
(EDIT: Ith-studded weapons make a lot more sense than Ith-studded armors. But I wouldn't put it past the average cheater's IQ to think an Ith-studded armor actually helps. :P)
They'd rather hear Pindle get busted than your piece of mind.
Shiny white rings and Ith-studded weapons,
and each game begins the grief play.
You won't understand 'em, an' if Blizzard don't catch 'em,
They'll go get GFrazier to say:
"Oh,
Players, don't let your users go out and be cheaters.
Don't download the trainers or do them old dupes.
We're catchin' the bad guys to give 'em the scoop.
Players, don't let your users go out and be cheaters.
'Cos they'll break all the rules and call you all fools
Even when they're in the wrong."
Cheaters like low-level newbies and joining in parties,
Fast access to waypoints and lag time and high-powered toys.
Them that don't like 'em will know 'em and them that don't,
most times will learn how to take 'em.
They ain't wrong, they're just different or that's how they think
they get by with their illegal joys.
(But then, of course, Blizzard's going to release the 1.10 patch, which is supposed to end maphack, delete dupes, find Saddam Hussein, cure cancer, and other miraculous wonders, but we all know Blizzard's track record about these things, in which case the patch will only delay maphack, label dupes, give pretty good directions on how to find Hussein's son's wife's uncle's second-cousin-removed's ex-chiropractor's gardener, and cure Cancer, the zodiac symbol, all the while introducing new gimmicks to lure the legit community back to the game, for all the "spunk" has gone out of the realms ever since the cheaters started taking over, unless you count what the Battle.net wankers have been doing to their keyboards; as the patch will be a hopelessly endearing but ultimately futile effort on Blizzard's part to woo the legitimate players into the game, players will no doubt feel like the Blizzard design team is a 8-week-old golden retriever puppy who just made water on your expensive Persian rug--yeah, it's an inconvenience, but how can you chastise something that darn CUTE, and as a special bonus Blizzard's going to release patches 1.11-1.82 to try and fix 1.10's "design flaws" (read: gamebreaking bugs) and keep stacking on the patches filled with fixes and incentives until D2's so old that the Powers That Be at Microsoft Vivendi Entertainment pull poor old GFrazier, the International Public Relations Man of Mystery, out of stasis to deliver another reassuring warning to the moron-bloated Battle.net forums, saying:)
"Oh,
Players, don't let your users go out and be cheaters.
Don't download the trainers or do them old dupes.
We're catchin' the bad guys to give 'em the scoop.
Players, don't let your users go out and be cheaters.
'Cos they'll break all the rules and call you all fools
Even when they're in the wrong."
(Hey everybody, sing along!)
"Players, don't let your users go out and be cheaters..."
(EDIT: Ith-studded weapons make a lot more sense than Ith-studded armors. But I wouldn't put it past the average cheater's IQ to think an Ith-studded armor actually helps. :P)
UPDATE: Spamblaster.