Rites of Passage

[ShadowHM]

Heiho,

speaking of trends I do indeed notice an increasing amount of crematorial funerals. Having seen actually one I didn't like that one. The coffin was on some rails, and after the funeral service some kind of door opened and the coffin on rails was by some automatism drawn behind that doors, doors closed, end of funeral. Despite of the usual funeral service with some speech, nice flowers and everything that last and least part of it gave the whole scenery a very mundane or even industrial approach.

That would have been disconcerting to me too. Here, the 'usual procedure' is that the crematory staff pick up the body, cremate it and the ashes are either picked up by the designated family member or delivered to them. The funeral or memorial service or whatever the gathering of those who mourn is called takes place after the cremation.

Still there's an increasing amount of crematorials. Around here the reasons I see are quite economical. To understand this you must know that it is not allowed here to take burial ashes at home or bury them where you like. You must bury it at a cemetery.

That is the law here too. However, it is ignored with impunity, as far as I can tell.

My own father's ashes are, in fact, buried in a corner of the family plot. But I am aware of quite a number of other locations that have been used for people I have known. They range from the mantlepiece of the family home, to being scattered a a place (or places) that were loved by that individual and, in one case, being buried at the base of a tree planted in his memory.

I know People looking ahead for their _own_ funeral want to be burnt and buried in the grave of the 'Unknown' because they don't want to be a nuisance to their descendants or anyone else after deceasing. This is even worse than missing respect to the dead ones, since I see this as a reliable indicator of missing care to elder relatives in families. The 'Unknown' grave is usually the place to bury those who don't have anyone to take care after deceasing.

And that is a distressing comment on the state of families nowadays. :(