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+--- Thread: Thinking about purchasing Final Fantasy X-2? (/thread-9160.html)
Thinking about purchasing Final Fantasy X-2? - [wcip]Angel - 03-10-2004
http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/ps2/review/R66945.html
I want to say "that's exactly what I would've said", but
my English is a bit off from not having practised it for a
few years, so I'll just have to settle with "I completely
agree with what *he* said."
You should read the whole thing. I can't stress how
many times I agreed with the author of this review.
The game is utter crap. Why, you ask? (Well, if you
*do* ask you haven't read the review yet.)
Well, there's no need for me to write my own stuff, so
I'll just ri... paraphrase:
"The villain(s) of Final Fantasy X-2 do nothing to make
me hate them, or want to play through this ridiculously
forgettable preteenâs wet dream. "
Apparently, the evil trio you fight (but don't kill, heaven
forbid!) 32-33 times in the course of the first 10 hours
of the game, will turn out to be your allies at the whisk
of 1 or 2 sentences.
"Unfortunately, the three main characters are treated
with such a grotesque superficial intrigue that they are,
of course, your run off the mill air headed cheerleader-
turned-hero. They are handled with such a lack of
respect that it wouldâve been a paradox if they werenât
all made to look like half-naked prostitutes."
Seriously, they *do* look like hookers, and for
someone who, two years ago, was the spiritual leader
of the entire world, this is preposterous. The game is 1
minor step away from being a full fledged hentai-
japanese-porn game. Rikku is walking around with a
bleedin' string bikini!
"In regards to the dialogue, my god⦠In an age when
vulgarity is becoming more and more accepted in the
media, Final Fantasy X-2 uses the mother of them all.
Be forewarned, for if you or your lifestyle does not
permit you to hear such harsh language, I suggest you
skip to the next section. Yuna and Rikku both delve
into the harsh word: poopie. Yes, poopieâ¦and in a
serious scene, no less."
I remember this scene .. vividly .. because at this point
in the game I was banging my blood-soaked forehead
against the wall whilst sticking my index finger down
my throat. As I remember, it's a scene on top of the
awful machine they call the Celsius (the equivalent of
the Highwind or Ragnarok) where Yuna is very sad
about her missing boy-toy and is contemplating the
futures when Rikku jumps into frame starts blabbering
about, among other things, "poopie".
I remember another scene. There was a crisis in the
party, they had to make a serious choice, but they
didn't know which, so the leader of the group (an NPC,
"Brother" from FFX.. why they chose this ignoramus as
the leader is beyond any conception) comes up with
the remarkable idea of having Yuna dance. Yes dance.
Having Yuna dance will in some strange fashion solve
the problem entirely. Seeing Yuna strip to some cheesy
japapop tune will somehow reveal the path yet taken.
:blink:
I'm not going to paraphrase any more. You really ought
to read the review before you squander your hard-
earned money on a game that manages to completely
and utterly obliderate the disappointment which was
Deus Ex2. "Disappointment" will in future dictionaries
feature a screenshot from FFX-2; preferably from the
"poopie-scene."
Please believe me when I say this is the worst
disappointment *ever*. I'll say this though: It perfectly
mirrors contemporary popular culture. It has *no*
depth, *no* variety and thus *no* purpose.
----
MGS-remake, where are you?!
edit: Did I mention the high-fives? Yes, the girl-trio does
high-fives in between missions where they jump at each
other; hands and breasts mashed together in a bundle
of pubescant extacy.