I just bought a loaf of bread.

[kandrathe]

I clearly remember studying the storming of the winter palace. And, yes. The Battle Mechs were a great help. Then again, other than making quilts, and fine needlework, when AREN'T Battle Mechs a great help?

[Hammerskjold]

You are substituting one dimensional thinking, for mere two dimensional thinking.

BZZZT!11 WRONG! It's -you- who are substituting truth with self delusional lies! You carbies are all gluttons for glutens anyway, so it's not a big surprise.

However like my Komrade\Kornbread Bun-Bun said, I will not rise to your bait, since I don't knead to. Flatbreadism does not require such boulangerie trickery and labor theft from the people.

I will however, correct your many distortion and outright delusions brought on by the yoke of yeast that you so cherish.

REAL ENLIGHTENMENT requires yeast my friend, and with it we attain all three dimensions!

LOL, is that the -real- enlightenment required by the reactionary yeast beast, the sugar sprinkles conglomerate groups, or the Dairy Industrial Complex you carbies soooo love to support?

Just how much flour are you actually getting with that leavened cupcake, vs empty hot air huh carbie?

Your so called 'enlightenment' is literally just empty air, nothing more than a bacteria's fart. I should know, because I'm very literate. Like, literally. Seriously, don't even test me son. I'll score an A+ on your grill.

I know all you carbies are the King James bible clutching types to boot, so I'll even slap your buns with your own spatula. Show me where in your precious bible, exactly where does the leavened pastry get chosen?

Answer: NOWHERE THAT'S WHERE! LOLOLOLOL! It's always -un-leavened bread son! You know why? Ever actually think and question your own dogmas through? Of course you don't! But here, I'll do you the flavour of leavening -your- logic.

It's because even your god delusions have no room for levity in matters of pastry. If Moses brought croissants instead of dense unleavened hardtack, they wouldn't last 40 years in the desert. They wouldn't even last 4 days.

Don't even bring up that manna from heaven bullspit. That's yeasty propaganda yet again. But you carbies love your fairy tales so whatever whatevs.

Face it. Reactionary Yeast Carbies can't handle the real truth, so they try to attack me on the personal front. No big surprise there, small minds are always hostile to radical ideas.

Enjoy your delusions and the bacterial flatus in your bread, carbies.

I'm off to Diablo Dueling and pwning there too, cause that's just how I roll. Flat, unleavened, and too real for all y'allz.

Peas.

[Taem]

Haha... omg you guys are too much! Seriously, some of these replies had me in stitches, and I'm trying to maintain cool here at work and act the part, you know, not on my phone doing manager things, but then everyone is seeing me laugh, at one point wiping away tears of laughter. <sigh> back to work. I guess I should really point out before I go that you are ALL being mislead! Working in the restaurant businesses, I should say I have to knowledge to proclaim pancakes as the ultimate form of grain consumption. There, I said it! The rest of you are living a lie based on ill conceived beliefs brought upon you by the government telling YOU what to eat for breakfast with your eggs, and well, maybe your parents to. Good day!

[shoju]

I pushed the boundries of my mind, from this proletariat crumb abyss, and twisted to the right. Mixed results were had.

[LennyLen]

I guess I should really point out before I go that you are ALL being mislead! Working in the restaurant businesses, I should say I have to knowledge to proclaim pancakes as the ultimate form of grain consumption. There, I said it! The rest of you are living a lie based on ill conceived beliefs brought upon you by the government telling YOU what to eat for breakfast with your eggs, and well, maybe your parents to. Good day!

I too work in the restaurant business, and my claim is that BEER is the ultimate form of grain consumption!

[kandrathe]

I guess I should really point out before I go that you are ALL being mislead! Working in the restaurant businesses, I should say I have to knowledge to proclaim pancakes as the ultimate form of grain consumption. There, I said it! The rest of you are living a lie based on ill conceived beliefs brought upon you by the government telling YOU what to eat for breakfast with your eggs, and well, maybe your parents to. Good day!

I too work in the restaurant business, and my claim is that BEER is the ultimate form of grain consumption!

Ah, you stole my thunder! I was just heading into those heady waters. Beer is ultimately the proof that not only does God exist, but that he wants us to revel whilst we are alive. What could be more obvious on divinity in that one must combine, grains, yeast, water and plant to form something not only sustaining, but semi-preserved and immortal in its own right.

[Jester]

The Russian Revolution, upgraded.

For full marks: Discuss and analyze the role of Aleksandr Kerensky in the Revolution.

-Jester

[DeeBye]

For full marks: Discuss and analyze the role of Aleksandr Kerensky in the Revolution.

-Jester

WTF dude?!!?

I was just talking about buying a loaf of bread.

Everyone needs to chill out and eat some toast.

[shoju]

What if I told you, there is no spoon?

[Alram]

"Loaf of bread" is an anagram for "Barf Ale Food". What did he really buy?

[Jester]

WTF dude?!!?

I was just talking about buying a loaf of bread.

Everyone needs to chill out and eat some toast.

It's typical mainstream bullshit to say that you can "just" talk about buying a loaf of bread.

Each loaf of bread is inextricably bound into the social systems that baked it: the land, depleted by the short-termist self-exploitation, all to fuel meaningless consumption desires created by an incessant barrage of advertising; the grain, engineered to chain poor farmers around the world to the products of big agrobusiness like Monsanto; the labour of formerly skilled artisan bakers, devalued by competition from corporations in search of the almightly dollar; the retail chain of the christian fundamentalist asshole oligarchy of Wal-Mart.

No, this is bullshit. There is no "just" talking about buying a loaf of bread. It's all tied together in the same social system, and you're either an idiot or a liar if you say you can't see the chains.

-Jester

[Hammerskjold]

Each loaf of bread is inextricably bound into the social systems that baked it: the land, depleted by the short-termist self-exploitation, all to fuel meaningless consumption desires created by an incessant barrage of advertising; the grain, engineered to chain poor farmers around the world to the products of big agrobusiness like Monsanto; the labour of formerly skilled artisan bakers, devalued by competition from corporations in search of the almightly dollar; the retail chain of the christian fundamentalist asshole oligarchy of Wal-Mart.

No, this is bullshit. There is no "just" talking about buying a loaf of bread. It's all tied together in the same social system, and you're either an idiot or a liar if you say you can't see the chains.

Close, but still no cigar. You are on the correct path, but you are still in the mindset of the petit boulangerie.

Like Cornbread Bolty pointed out in his example, it's also the role of Mecha(nization) in the Russian Revolution, in service to the Yeast Industrial Complex that you seem to be wholewheatedly be ignorant of, or chose to conveniently forget.

Though even that example is flawed, understandable since Cornbread Bolty is not as learned as I in the matters of Real History of World Baking. A course which I aced by the way, if I'm ever so humble about it.

A more accurate way to say it, is the role of 'Robota' in the field of pastryfication, which in the original language meant 'a machine used by the Reactionary Yeast Elite to efficiently rob the people of their flour power.'

I admit I haven't covered Alexendre Kerensky this semester, but judging by your slavish devotion to him I have no doubt without even reading your link, he's just another one of your beloved Top Banana Theory agitpropped up by the Yeastocracy. Strong Bran theory by a different name.

It's still the same ole same ole boulangerie bullshiznit, kid.

No one can call themselves a baker unless they're yeast free. This is just fact. Go ahead carbies, try (and fail spectacularly!1 LOLOLOLOLZ) to insult me, it won't change the fact that I'm right.

But maybe, just maybe. If you all addressed the issue, instead of trying to attack me personally you'd all be less butthurtz when I point out the flaws and prejudice in your thinkings? Just a thought.

Whatever whatevs man, I got some Diablo PVP pwn4ge to do. If I have to keep on teaching you people the true way of Flatbreadism, I'd have to charge tuition LOLOLOLz!1

Peas out!

[kandrathe]

The Russian Revolution, upgraded.

For full marks: Discuss and analyze the role of Aleksandr Kerensky in the Revolution.

-Jester

Do I get extra credit points for putting into an animated song?

[shoju]

I'm excited. my father has unveiled a new recipe for me to partake in this fine day. It is a yeastless sourdough flatbread.

He says he found the recipe while looking for lower calorie options for me and my wife, and that people said that this was a killer thing.

So............ Maybe I'll sell a loaf to someone after I try it. Or not. Because that would only be feeding into the capitalist beougeois elwheat's plan to keep me in the crumb tray.

[LemmingofGlory]

I have never seen anything so half-baked as this thread. None of you can see the loaf for all the crumbs when your myopic worldview is mired by the cobwebs of the complex proteins that cause the structure of our society to be so resilient and elastic even as it becomes stale and molds before our very eyes. As asymptotic valedictorian at the Literal University of the Missing Idiom, you are welcome to come defeat me in single combat (as part of our peer-review process) to challenge my ideas, but until then you must accept that the primary antagonist in this debate and any other is the ubiquitous protein known as gluten. As long as we have gluten, the free glutamic acids will continue to act as a neurotoxin and poison us to be thankful to our capitalist overlords. Gluten is no different from Toxoplasma gondii, and Capitalist producers are the cats that track their deadly prion into all of our foods.

[Alram]

We went into town today and didn't buy anything.

The Bridge is an excellent crime drama on television. I'm also eagerly awaiting the season premiere of several shows on TV including The Good Wife, Orphan Black, and The Walking Dead.
Speaking of the Walking Dead, in a zombie apocalypse how will we be able to buy any bread?

As the Bible says: "Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceedeth from the mouth of God.'"

Also:
Genesis 3:19
"In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return."

Mock all you want, but he that loaves last loaves best.

How about: it is better to have loaved and lost than never to have a loaf at all.

[Archon_Wing]

What the f....

Honestly, man can not live on bread alone. I would have at least bought some ham and water to go along with it. I hope you will change your wayward ways, but if this is your lifestyle, I can only choose to accept it. For I disagree with your bread, but I will defend to the death your right to eat it.

[Tal]

I'm more disappointed that DeeBye didn't purchase bacon to go with his bread.

[shoju]

Speaking of the Walking Dead, in a zombie apocalypse how will we be able to buy any bread?

I have the perfect Zombie Apocalypse plan.

1.) Round up Family, including parents. (I STILL GET BREAD! YAY!)
2.) Haul ass towards work.
3.) Knock over Pharmacy for supply of insulin (wife), Batteries (Insulin Pump), Syringes (backup plan)
4.) Get to work. Begin preparing the main building to be my living quarters. 500,000 + SQ Ft, Plenty of Food (Hellloooooooo MRE's, and Survival Buckets of Freeze Dried Foods). Get the old Water Boiler cleaned up, and ready to go, Fortify the weak doors, and then start building insane Steampunk ish contraptions to hurl Lawnmowers Blades at any walker (or not nice person looking to take my stronghold) at high rates of speed.

Yeah.... Sounds far fetched until you've been here, and you realize, It wouldn't be that hard.

I even have a super awesome tunnel that comes out of the river bank across the road, that I can use as a "walker free" way to get to the water supply, to boil it off, and purify it.

[LavCat]

Bolty,

I request this thread be merged with the Minecraft thread.