The Corrupted Wish Game

[shoju]

Granted.

You are a Zombie. You wont turn down a good brain, but it isn't needed to survive.


I wish that I had a million dollars.

[LochnarITB]

I wish that I had a million dollars.

Granted. You had a million dollars, you just didn't hang on to it - kids and house and car and ... are expensive.

I wish I had a good brain.

[shoju]

Granted. It smells a little like formaldehyde, and there is a man with a mickey mouse logo on his shirt asking for his boss back.



I would like a pizza.

[LochnarITB]

I would like a pizza.

Granted. You would like a pizza, indeed. In fact, it grew into a deep passionate longing love. Fortunately, Papa John is open minded and granted his permission. You'll be wed in a civil ceremony on Thursday.

I wish I had a new body to carry my brain around.

[NuurAbSaal]

I wish I had a new body to carry my brain around.

Granted. You hand over your brain to your new body, who (which?) promptly runs away with it (you) in search of a Zombie Deli.

I wish my thesis would write itself.


take care
Tarabulus

[shoju]

Granted. In the process, it stumbles across an ancient dvd of Terminator 2, thinks that Skynet is quite possibly the savior of humanity. You single handedly with this wish have ushered in the apocalypse, and the extinction of mankind.

Good job. Jerk.







I Wish that tomorrow, I wake up, and the general public is less like sheep, and able to think for themselves.

[Klaus]

I Wish that tomorrow, I wake up, and the general public is less like sheep, and able to think for themselves.

Granted. Alas, the sheep also wake up less like sheep and able to think for themselves, learn karate, and make the bugger's eyes water. Good job, jerk. "Bleating and babbling we fell on his neck with a scream..."

I wish there were 28 hours in the day.

[--Pete]

Hi,

I wish there were 28 hours in the day.

Granted. Your bosses figured you had enough time off before the change, so make your workday 12 hours long. Plus 8 hours on Saturday -- after all, you're still getting the same amount of time off.

I wish I could move to Antarctica for the summer.

--Pete

[shoju]

Granted, but it is aboard the Steve Irwin, one of the vessels in Whale Wars. And you just got drafted to be the small boat driver. (If you are unfamiliar, think 14ft inflatable pontoon speedboat zipping around a giant industrial ship armed with a water cannon attempting to knock you out of said boat).


I wish that I could have a better understanding of Chemistry.

[Zippyy]

I wish I had a pastrami sandwich.


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You eat a pastrami sandwich. Your robot innards balk at the moist meat and crumbly bread. What moving parts you have grind to a stop and your circuitry becomes fried in a shower of arcs and sparks.

(shoju, because of the robot incursion, you are granted a better understanding of chemistry with no downside!)

[kandrathe]

I wish I had a pastrami sandwich.


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You eat a pastrami sandwich. Your robot innards balk at the moist meat and crumbly bread. What moving parts you have grind to a stop and your circuitry becomes fried in a shower of arcs and sparks.

(shoju, because of the robot incursion, you are granted a better understanding of chemistry with no downside!)

I wish Zippyy had remembered to make a wish for me to corrupt!

[jahcs]

I'm gone for 5 years and you steal my wish in the first thread I click on? Have you no shame?

BTW: I had a double decker pastrami sandwich yesterday and it was delicious!

---

I wish I understood calculus.
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Poof! You understand calculus, unfortunately that knowledge has pushed other neccesary tidbits from your grey matter, like how to open a door. You are now trapped inside your bedroom with a graphing calculator and a calculus textbook.

I wish I had a pastrami sandwich.

I wish I had a pastrami sandwich.


shatan hotel beijing

[Zippyy]

I wish robots could feel shame.

[Leshy]

I wish robots could feel shame.

The technology for robots to feel shame is invented after you have an epiphany leading to a scientific breakthrough three days from now. It turns out, however, that one day one of your descendants will invent a time-travelling assassination robot.

Due to an unfortunate broken bolt, its targetting mechanism will at some point become misaligned, causing the robot to miss and kill an innocent bystander. Stricken with grief and shame, the robot travels back in time and in two days from now smothers you with a pillow; both to prevent robots from feeling shame and this particular robot's inventor from ever being born.

Enjoy your last two days!

Granted. I give you some of Leshy's Butt Crack Pizza. (Yet another very inside joke.)

Okay, this is pretty much an oldie, but color me impressed nevertheless.

So there. I wish for a box of crayons.

P.S. Oh hey, only now I see I apparently resurrected an old thread. The curse of having many tabs open strikes again. Oh well, maybe people will still feel up for this game or at least want to say hello and... *quietly slips back into lurker mode*

[kandrathe]

I wish for a box of crayons.

Granted, however before you could get to them a local group of kindergarten boys nabbed them thinking its so cool to see them melt in their technicolor splendor on the lavatory radiator.

I wish cats had thumbs.

[shoju]

Granted. Soon, humanity goes from worshipping cats only on the Internet, to being forced into a religion based on the worship of the overlo... I mean cats. Each home now is required to have a pair of cats. They lord over you as though you were their pet, all the while forcing you to eat stale crackers, and chasing a small light. In 100 years, Cats have completely reshaped the face of society, and Planet of the Apes is now viewed as "wishful thinking" of what "could have been".

I wish that I had $100,000.00 cash, untaxable, so that I can start my own business, and not need to worry about it failing in the first 12 months.

[Occhidiangela]

You have the 100,000 in cash, and begin your own business. Sadly, nobody buys anything, and it fails within 13 months leaving you with a pile of debt.

I wish I had more time to play Diablo III and Starcraft 2.

[shoju]

Granted. You are now alone on an island. There is no one else there. There is only coconuts, spinach, a laptop, and oddly wifi. No one believes that you are shipwrecked because of this, and eventually, you die. Alone.


I wish I was a dr

[LochnarITB]

I wish I was a dr

Granted. You hook up with an ip and really annoy people when the room gets really quiet at night.

I wish my credit cards were paid off.

[Jester]

I wish my credit cards were paid off.

Wish granted... by the mafia, who give you some gifts to take across the border to Thailand.

I wish I had a private jet.

-Jester