04-06-2006, 02:17 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-06-2006, 02:36 PM by Occhidiangela.)
Checking the morning fishwrapper over the cuppa Joe this morning, I noted this e headline and "above the fold" story.
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[center]The Sanctuary Observer
All the news that fits, we'll print! [/center]
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[center]Izzy Goes Pop! [/center]
[center]Plains Ward Boss' Term Nipped in Bud by Muggers![/center]
City of the Damned -- (Doom-Knight-Ridder Wire Service)
Blueskin party boss Izzy Pop was mugged and slain last night by a gang of bent knees, running about assailants wielding pointed sticks and long blades. Found strewn about him were the bodies five Pit Bosses from the City's Chaos Casino, with whom he'd just finished dinner at the Charred Barbarian Bistro. A source in the ER, where Mr Pop was pronounced Dead on Arrival, leaked reports of freezer burn on Mr Pop's skin. Word on the street points to an attack by zealots from "Up North."
Police spokesmen for the Plains Precinct would neither confirm nor deny complicity by the Scosglen Scourge, a gang thought long gone. Officials were quick to squelch rumors that this was an assassination contracted by Izzy's old associate in the Bleach and Toga business, Tee Rial. This immediate denial raises more questions than it answers, in light of the ongoing probe into the Belle Isles' crime cartel, and the links to the Mayor's office under the corrupted administration of Andy Royal. What are they hiding? Inquiring (albeit corrupt) rogues want to know!
Inspector O.F. Souls offered the following at a hurried press conference this morning:
The investigation continues. Citizens are encouraged to call HOT-7734, with any information related to, or sightings of, this new urban street menace.
As he left the Vizier's office this morning, alderman Festo was overhard saying, "These punks better stay out of my district, or I'll put the hammer down! There's a new sheriff in town, and his name's H. A. Festo!" The allusion to vigilante justice along the River of Flame hearkens back to the lawless days of the Sin City War. Hopefully this is merely alderman Festo grieving over the demise of his political protege. The City can ill afford another internecine street battle. Property values have already gone to hell, and ruined structures still outnumber the sound.
On the Law and Order front, Marshall Diablon could not be reached for comment at the Mount Arreat ski resort, where he is honeymooning with a Succubus known as Miss Kitty. Details on the private wedding are sketchy. Inside sources report that Archbishop Lazarus presided over a discrete ceremony in the Chaos Sanctuary this weekend. The mother of the bride glowingly described it as "a marriage made in Hell." This dish lends support to the rumor that Ancient Kaa has returned to his old habit of bringing the dead back to life. So has Miss Kitty, we suspect, given her nomme du danse of "The Winged Blue Diamond."
City Vizier Geoff Kaos had no comment, but he does have an elbow that gave a certain reporter a shiner. His aid, Haid Royal, tersely observed that, "The Vizier's lips are sealed on this matter." Would that his elbows were padded as well, like the rooms where he used to live. Stygia hath no fury like a rogue scarred.
O. D. Angela, Metro and Fashion Reporter, The Sanctuary Observer
Editor's Note: As this story went to press, an unconfirmed tip from a striking blonde known as Gorobabe lists the perps as Zed-Katsushiro, Kembai_Shimada, Kyuzo, MyazakiSS, Heihachi_Sam, and Shishak_SS. Toshiro Mifune was unavailable fo comment, what with his being dead and all that, but the gang already has a name on the street: the Six Samurai.
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Occhi
Numerous format edits since Preview is not WYSIWYG.
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________________________________________________________________________________
[center]The Sanctuary Observer
All the news that fits, we'll print! [/center]
________________________________________________________________________________
[center]Izzy Goes Pop! [/center]
[center]Plains Ward Boss' Term Nipped in Bud by Muggers![/center]
City of the Damned -- (Doom-Knight-Ridder Wire Service)
Blueskin party boss Izzy Pop was mugged and slain last night by a gang of bent knees, running about assailants wielding pointed sticks and long blades. Found strewn about him were the bodies five Pit Bosses from the City's Chaos Casino, with whom he'd just finished dinner at the Charred Barbarian Bistro. A source in the ER, where Mr Pop was pronounced Dead on Arrival, leaked reports of freezer burn on Mr Pop's skin. Word on the street points to an attack by zealots from "Up North."
Police spokesmen for the Plains Precinct would neither confirm nor deny complicity by the Scosglen Scourge, a gang thought long gone. Officials were quick to squelch rumors that this was an assassination contracted by Izzy's old associate in the Bleach and Toga business, Tee Rial. This immediate denial raises more questions than it answers, in light of the ongoing probe into the Belle Isles' crime cartel, and the links to the Mayor's office under the corrupted administration of Andy Royal. What are they hiding? Inquiring (albeit corrupt) rogues want to know!
Inspector O.F. Souls offered the following at a hurried press conference this morning:
Quote:The officers arriving on scene believe Mr Pop might have stumbled across a concentration of Zakurite meditating fanatics. The suspects were run off by a pack of Stygian police dogs, on routine canine patrol, and their identities remain unknown. They were described by eyewitness and local "insurance adjuster" A. Byssnight -- out walking this misty, moisty, morning -- as "clothed all in leather and wielding two-handed weapons of various makes." They are reported to chatter incessantly in a pidgin Zakurite-Khanduran dialect, and hail one another by grunting "Hai!"
These punks are armed and dangerous. Denizens of the City are cautioned to report sightings to local ward bosses, and to stay clear if they encounter any suspicious persons. Do not try to apprehend these gangsta wannabes, they have no qualms about killing out of hand. We believe these are members of a new gang who have initiated a turf war with the older street gangs in the City of the Damned: The Demons, The Undead, and The Monsters. They struck their first blow in the suburbs, but we mean to keep them out of the City.
The investigation continues. Citizens are encouraged to call HOT-7734, with any information related to, or sightings of, this new urban street menace.
As he left the Vizier's office this morning, alderman Festo was overhard saying, "These punks better stay out of my district, or I'll put the hammer down! There's a new sheriff in town, and his name's H. A. Festo!" The allusion to vigilante justice along the River of Flame hearkens back to the lawless days of the Sin City War. Hopefully this is merely alderman Festo grieving over the demise of his political protege. The City can ill afford another internecine street battle. Property values have already gone to hell, and ruined structures still outnumber the sound.
On the Law and Order front, Marshall Diablon could not be reached for comment at the Mount Arreat ski resort, where he is honeymooning with a Succubus known as Miss Kitty. Details on the private wedding are sketchy. Inside sources report that Archbishop Lazarus presided over a discrete ceremony in the Chaos Sanctuary this weekend. The mother of the bride glowingly described it as "a marriage made in Hell." This dish lends support to the rumor that Ancient Kaa has returned to his old habit of bringing the dead back to life. So has Miss Kitty, we suspect, given her nomme du danse of "The Winged Blue Diamond."
City Vizier Geoff Kaos had no comment, but he does have an elbow that gave a certain reporter a shiner. His aid, Haid Royal, tersely observed that, "The Vizier's lips are sealed on this matter." Would that his elbows were padded as well, like the rooms where he used to live. Stygia hath no fury like a rogue scarred.
O. D. Angela, Metro and Fashion Reporter, The Sanctuary Observer
Editor's Note: As this story went to press, an unconfirmed tip from a striking blonde known as Gorobabe lists the perps as Zed-Katsushiro, Kembai_Shimada, Kyuzo, MyazakiSS, Heihachi_Sam, and Shishak_SS. Toshiro Mifune was unavailable fo comment, what with his being dead and all that, but the gang already has a name on the street: the Six Samurai.
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Occhi
Numerous format edits since Preview is not WYSIWYG.
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
