If Healers Treated Tanks...
#1
This post cracked me up hardcore on the Blizzard general forum. I know, I know, "a funny post on the Blizzard forums OMGWTFBBQ Bolty is nuts." Borrowed horribly from the original poster, Snowfox, here's the leadoff:

Quote:If Healers Treated Tanks the same way Tanks Treated Healers...

We'd...
* Pull when the tank was eating and health was at 10%.
* Spam "omg tank" anytime the mob's health was above 80%.
* Spam "r u tanking?" while we are still alive.
* Refer to tanks as "the tank" instead of by their name.
* Ask for tanks to pull or buff while they were eating.
* Say "omg u r the worst tank evar" everytime they lost aggro.
* Ask the tank to bandage us while everyone was resting up.
* Request a damagemeters report of healing done every minute.
* Reach level 60 faster than them - by soloing the whole way.
* Spam ">> Healing %t, everyone assist now! <<" every pull.
* Think we are doing our job if we are the last one alive.
* Just assume the healer will be the puller.
* DPS with our 2 hander instead of healing.
* Say "use last stand!" or "use divine shield!" anytime they needed a heal.
* Pull by running up to a mob and smacking it with our staff.
* Wave our epeens around saying "my spirit and healing ownz!"
* Say "sigh... can't we skip it?" when they want to kill The Beast or Kirtonos for set items.
* We'd expect Benediction to drop as a book in Dire Maul.
* Constantly whine about how tanks are stuck-ups and how we can't find any.
* Post lists about If Tanks Treated Healers like Healers Treated Tanks. (anyone? anyone?)

Anyone who's ever played in pickup groups (and for those who never do, they can be a way to develop your playing skills, ironically enough) should get at least a chuckle out of this.

Read the whole thread, if you're into that sort of thing, at http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.a...p=1#post3892741

My personal addition to the list:

* Randomly whisper tanks constantly asking them to group, then telling them they're pricks when they say no.
* Immediately kick the tank out of the party if they aren't 100% Protection spec.

Feel free to come up with your own such lists. I can imagine some of you would have interesting ones... :)

-Bolty
Quote:Considering the mods here are generally liberals who seem to have a soft spot for fascism and white supremacy (despite them saying otherwise), me being perma-banned at some point is probably not out of the question.
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Messages In This Thread
If Healers Treated Tanks... - by Bolty - 07-05-2005, 08:01 PM
If Healers Treated Tanks... - by Kevin - 07-05-2005, 10:37 PM
If Healers Treated Tanks... - by Gregorius - 07-06-2005, 12:21 AM
If Healers Treated Tanks... - by Drasca - 07-06-2005, 10:51 AM
If Healers Treated Tanks... - by Gregorius - 07-06-2005, 03:25 PM
If Healers Treated Tanks... - by Trien - 07-06-2005, 06:59 PM
If Healers Treated Tanks... - by Quark - 07-06-2005, 09:00 PM
If Healers Treated Tanks... - by Drasca - 07-07-2005, 01:38 AM
If Healers Treated Tanks... - by bonemage - 07-08-2005, 09:57 PM
If Healers Treated Tanks... - by Brista - 07-10-2005, 07:13 PM

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