Parents are suing Blizzard for son's death

[Chesspiece_face]

Suicide Attributed To Popular Online Game Leads To National Controversy.
By Chris Hickman

William Jordan was an adolescent not unlike any other growing up in small-town middle America but last Tuesday, November 15 his suicide sent shockwaves through his hometown of Chambersburg Pennsylvania which quickly spread to a national uproar.

Jordan was an avid player of the popular game World of Warcraft which, according to his parents, he had played nightly for the past year.  A recent realization about the game he had invested so much time into sent Jordan into a spiral of depression that authorities believe led to his taking his own life.

At a recent convention held by Blizzard, the developers of the bestselling MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game), one of the developers of WoW was quoted as saying “the paladin was designed as an easy class to play”.  This revelation greatly distressed Jordan who was found apparently self-immolated at his family home Tuesday night.

“He couldn’t do anything for weeks” recalls Anita Jordan, William’s mother.  “He would just sit in his room saying ‘It’s over.  I’m a noob.  It’s over.’”  A note was found near Jordan’s computer which read:

“I have worked too hard to have all mine (sic) skills taken away from me now.  I will not befoul my holy cause and accept my place as a noob.  This is the end.  Take me lord take me!  /shield  /hearth”

“I’ve been through a lot.” The boy’s father Joseph said, obviously upset.  “My sister had multiple sclerosis and just last year my eldest daughter admitted to being a lesbian…  Maybe this is for the best.  I just don’t know what I would do if William turned out to be a noob.”

Almost immediately a chorus of outrage erupted from many conservative commentators.  Pat Robertson host of The Christian Broadcasting Network’s The 700 Club was quoted as saying “This is just another attempt by the liberal media to demean those with faith.”  Bill O’Reilly radio personality and FOX News host recently spoke out on his radio program saying “This uh, this game ok.  They take their time.  They take their money and uh they make all these characters you can play as.  Then they take one of these characters the uh religious “Christian” one and uh they make it an idiot.  They say “hey look here! You people um, that believe this are stupid!  You’re noobs!”

At the time of this writing Blizzard employees had refused to comment on the growing controversy.  Harry Reid, Democratic Leader of the Senate, when asked, responded by saying “What the hell are you talking about?  That’s absurd.”