How to Guarantee a Divorce

[Roland]

I know books.  Not only have I been an avid reader since I learned to read, but I also worked in a library for a year or two.  Beware of heavy flying books.

This guy has ordered himself up some serious marital problems, as has been previously noted.  Not only will his Star Wars memorabilia wind up in a bin at Goodwill, but I daresay his videotapes will be mysteriously exposed to strong magnets and his DVDs used as clay pigeons.  Unless his wife is astonishingly - nay, almost divinely - forgiving, in which case he should count his blessings, take her out to dinner someplace real nice tomorrow night, and hold a Star Wars-theme garage sale within the next month.
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You know, the funny thing is, if I did that to my g/f, she would forgive me. And I bet I could keep my Star Wars gear, too. Of course, I'd have to placate her a little, but that's to be expected. You don't toss a firecracker at someone's foot and then expect to not make amends for it later on. :)

I'm actually tempted to pull something like this. It's so in my nature. :D Of course, it's equally in my nature to spoil my loved ones rotten, as evidenced by the multiple cuts, scrapes, and bruises I receive almost daily from the jewelry I bought her during our first year together. So, IMHO, it evens out. :)