08-30-2005, 08:34 PM
Since there are some people reading this thread for the first time I'm going to go through an update.
I'm officially no longer employed. There is no cure in sight we still don't know what is the issue so I resigned to allow the organization a chance to get a full time replacement for me. This makes treatment sketchy again but I have options.
I'm much more of a roller coaster now. Some days I'm normal. Others I sit huddled in a corner in a dark room. There are times when my mind just shuts down. I don't get heart racing fear, I just stop thinking. I can't always get in to see my councilor and doctor.
Showering is off and on as to when I can and can't do it. Some days Treesh has to put soap on my washcloth because I can't pick up the bar (or body wash on the scubber or put the shampoo in my hands). Still can't shave. I can post here and CA with no issues but I can't post on any other message boards without a struggle. It took me 10 minutes to sign up for the test server raid on the Basin boards.
I'm very very very frustrated that I can be mostly normaly most of the time playing a freaking video game (and I can even be on Teamspeak with strangers most of the time) but I still struggle with talking on the phone or online with my family. I still can't have a conversation with my former coworkers and friends without breaking down.
I'm currently terrified that I will never be a productive member of society again. So I've progressed and I've regressed.
So yeah for whatever reason I'm mostly normal here and in WoW, but no where else in my life. This gets really annoying at times. So anywhere there's the deal.
I'm officially no longer employed. There is no cure in sight we still don't know what is the issue so I resigned to allow the organization a chance to get a full time replacement for me. This makes treatment sketchy again but I have options.
I'm much more of a roller coaster now. Some days I'm normal. Others I sit huddled in a corner in a dark room. There are times when my mind just shuts down. I don't get heart racing fear, I just stop thinking. I can't always get in to see my councilor and doctor.
Showering is off and on as to when I can and can't do it. Some days Treesh has to put soap on my washcloth because I can't pick up the bar (or body wash on the scubber or put the shampoo in my hands). Still can't shave. I can post here and CA with no issues but I can't post on any other message boards without a struggle. It took me 10 minutes to sign up for the test server raid on the Basin boards.
I'm very very very frustrated that I can be mostly normaly most of the time playing a freaking video game (and I can even be on Teamspeak with strangers most of the time) but I still struggle with talking on the phone or online with my family. I still can't have a conversation with my former coworkers and friends without breaking down.
I'm currently terrified that I will never be a productive member of society again. So I've progressed and I've regressed.
So yeah for whatever reason I'm mostly normal here and in WoW, but no where else in my life. This gets really annoying at times. So anywhere there's the deal.
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It's all just zeroes and ones and duct tape in the end.
It's all just zeroes and ones and duct tape in the end.