04-15-2005, 02:57 PM
How many CEOs does it take to change a light bulb?
We have light bulbs? I don't know anything about that, but I do know that the stock's dipping because of concerns we're getting dark.
How many Division Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
One to approve the project.
How many Directors does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten; six to decide to which organization the responsibility for changing the light bulb properly resides, one to approve development resources, one to approve QA resources, one to approve installation resources, and one to approve monitoring resources.
How many Managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four; one to assign each task (after complaining that his team can't handle the extra burden without additional head count).
How many Developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three; one to write the initial light bulb code, one to fix the bugs which prevent it from working at all after the first one gets laid off, and one to fix the minor business-rule bugs that come up after the second one is re-assigned to a different project.
How many QA testers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They don't actually test it anyway; if they did, the damn thing never would have made it to production in this state.
How many Analysts does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six, since you have to cover 24/7 monitoring.
How many System Administrators does it take to change a lightbulb?
Look, it would only take me 2 minutes to fix this freakin' thing if you'd stop making me fill out all these tickets, send out all this e-mail, request all these moratorium exceptions, demanding I create graphs showing uptime and electricity consumption, and pestering me about whether or not we're using the appropriate wattage for our lighting needs!
We have light bulbs? I don't know anything about that, but I do know that the stock's dipping because of concerns we're getting dark.
How many Division Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
One to approve the project.
How many Directors does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten; six to decide to which organization the responsibility for changing the light bulb properly resides, one to approve development resources, one to approve QA resources, one to approve installation resources, and one to approve monitoring resources.
How many Managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four; one to assign each task (after complaining that his team can't handle the extra burden without additional head count).
How many Developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three; one to write the initial light bulb code, one to fix the bugs which prevent it from working at all after the first one gets laid off, and one to fix the minor business-rule bugs that come up after the second one is re-assigned to a different project.
How many QA testers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They don't actually test it anyway; if they did, the damn thing never would have made it to production in this state.
How many Analysts does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six, since you have to cover 24/7 monitoring.
How many System Administrators does it take to change a lightbulb?
Look, it would only take me 2 minutes to fix this freakin' thing if you'd stop making me fill out all these tickets, send out all this e-mail, request all these moratorium exceptions, demanding I create graphs showing uptime and electricity consumption, and pestering me about whether or not we're using the appropriate wattage for our lighting needs!
Darian Redwin - just some dude now