What Would You Do to Save Someone's Life?

[ShadowHM]

Hi Scrape!

Nice to see you back here.

And thanks for posting the missive above. There was some drama in my family/friends group this weekend that made me really think about the question you posed in the title. And I still don't know the answer. I am vacillating between thinking I should try to help (again) and thinking that for some people, the help has to start within themselves. And that all that happens when you try to help some folks is that they pull you into the maelstrom with them, instead of you actually helping them.

It is easy for me to give to charities. My income is not large, but I have enough that I can. So I do. I am willing to pay for my principles. So I do pay more for some things because I believe in putting my money where my mouth is. And I spend a lot of time on community groups because somebody has to do it.

But it is a whole other kettle of fish when it comes to my family. A young man who used to be my eldest son's best friend reached out for help last weekend in a classically mentally ill passive-agressive way. Shades of the three-year-old's "I'll hold my breath and pass out if you don't let me do what I want". This person spent a lot of time in my home before his betrayals of trust made my son let him go.

So he is clearly ill. (Bipolar disorder, and with prescribed drugs for it, if he elects to take the drugs.)

And is it worth trying again to help him? And what does that do to/for my son, who doesn't need that loss again? Or my other sons, who also were part of the ongoing dramas and witnessed the betrayals?

I still don't know. Therefore, so far, the result is that I am doing nothing. But I thank you for helping me frame the internal debate.