Another Movie Thread - Because We Love Them So

[Taem]

Free time, as unsupervised as possible -- way beyond the modern comfort zone -- is what I'm speaking of. Yeah, there are some dangers. That's how we learn to handle danger. There will be injuries -- kandrathe got his from horses, I got mine from knives. That's how we learn that it's OK to get hurt, and how to cope with it when we do. The rough and tumble of unsupervised play develops a flexibility in us that will let us survive. As opposed to the fragile rigidity we are developing now,where nothing bad ever happens and the slightest disappointment or failure or injury is devastating.

I understand now.

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I've read over this post and it is OT. I basically come full circle to agree with the premise of your deduction, but disagree with its application. Read it if you like, dismiss it otherwise.
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I don't really know what to say. I grew up this way Pete. Both my parents worked constantly, and when they were home, they argued like maniacs. I can't even remember how many times I cried myself to sleep in the grade-school before they got divorced. I never had any brothers or sisters to fall back on, so consequently, I never felt so alone as I did as a child. My parents never went to school functions, never showed up for events in my life, and never showed one iota of interest in my life other than the weekly, "I love you son." Yeah, I had to be creative to entertain myself, but life wasn't worth a grain of salt back then. I welcomed death Pete, and at eight years old... eight years old!, I tried to kill myself by jumping on a knife where I thought my heart was. I failed after several attempts and finally resolved to the conclusion, "who the hell cares what happens in this life. Death couldn't be any worse that this!" It was at this point in my life I stopped fearing my parents, authority, everyone. I did whatever the hell I wanted and with reckless abandon. You have no idea how lucky I am to be alive with the shit I've done.

As a kid, when I went to my grandmothers, my uncles would tell me they were taking me to the beach, to the zoo, to Disneyland, and get me all excited, "You gotta show me you really want to go, now are you excited?", then they'd drive me around the block and kick me out of the car and drive off laughing. They'd have me put fliers on cars for their soon-to-be failed businesses and promise me 50-bucks, only to renege on their promise.

Coming from this background, I obviously became very cynical and did whatever the f* I wanted - hell, it took me years after buying my home to feel like it was really mine and wasn't going to be taken away from me! I was raised by TV, by my friends. I went to the hospital *at least* once a year - and I'm not kidding - for stitches from the games we made up with old golf clubs, nails, custom made ramps out of plywood and 2x4's (not nailed together of course). I also did some really bad things as a youth, stuff you would never even tell your kids (or anyone else for that matter for legal reasons).

I don't want my kids growing up like this! I didn't have a family! This is not what growing up is all about and I don't want that for my children. I'm lucky I never became sociopathic. Being an only child, I used to observe people, and I learned a lot about people by examining them and their interactions. I knew my family life was not the norm, and later in life, this helped me realize how I wanted to change this and how I wanted my kids to experience the family dynamic. I've decided that my kids don't have to go what I went through to understand some of the lessons I've learned. They don't have to feel completely isolated and alone to get their creative juices flowing. I believe that by [me] being creative with them, that they will become creative themselves, but with supervision. I value their input, and give them the room they need to grow, and they give me respect. Unfortunately, much of this has gone out the window the last couple of years since my kids have been in organized sports. I've been spending more time on the computer between sporting events, helping kids with homework, and making dinner than communicating with my kids now

So do I think kids need unsupervised play to become creative? Well, I enjoyed it as my only outlet of enjoyment, but it doesn't have to be this way. I think parents can encourage creativity and still be a part of their childs lives. But you are right about one thing... I am my own man, and I know who I am and I'm not afraid to tell anyone my thoughts or fight [to the death] for what I believe in, and I would not be who I am today if it weren't for my past. And you are also right that because I show my kids so much affection and attention, they are soft and will never be like I was or am, maybe even never be that aggressive period. But this brings me full circle: I don't really know what to say. You are right for kids learning about independence and how far to bend the rules... but I don't want my kids having to grow up like I did to become like I am.