05-12-2011, 02:54 PM
As a person who had a child as a teenager, I feel like I should chime in here, though I'm not sure if what I'm going to say has any bearing on the situation, or even really needs to be here.
I was 16. My girlfriend, 15, when she got pregnant. I was 17, She was 16, when my oldest son was born. I was raised in a heavy handed highly pentecostal, home, as the son of a pastor. She was the wild child of parents who worked too much. We knew that pregnancy was a risk. We used protection. It broke. I wasn't naive, She wasn't naive, we were just..... unlucky? Or maybe stupid. Or both. Who knows. It wasn't like we had "intended" to start having sex. It went the way most things went.
Boy meets girl, thinks she is pretty cute.
Girl thinks boy is silly.
Boy takes girl on date
Date leads to kiss
kiss leads to more dates
more dates lead to more kissing
which lead to touching,
which leads to a bedroom.
just over 14 years after the birth of my son, I can tell you, that our paths from that point on have been completely different. Maybe not in the beginning, because we were both idiots. but from our early 20's things have been vastly different. I went to College. She had more kids and got married. I graduated college, She started using drugs. I got married and started a family with my wife. She left her abusive husband for her drug dealer. I was awarded custody of my son. She continued her self destruction. She has been to prison 3 times, jail who knows how many times, 4 trips to rehab, and in the process missed out on getting to know a very cool young man. I have been going to school functions, and sporting events, and hugged him when he was angry, and 3 years of counseling for him, and trips to the doctors to deal with severe ADHD, signs of depression, and a very scary situation at school.
These paths didn't change because of our parents, or social status, or anything like that. Her parents had all the money in the world. Mine.... worked 2 jobs each on top of being highly involved in their church just to make ends meet, and keep food on the table. Her family had paved the way for her to finish high school and go straight to college and make it work. My parents struggled to help me with financing my way through the local Associates Program I completed. Neither of our parents were around much to "supervise" us, and by the time our paths really started to diverge, we were adults.
I don't say these things to blame anyone, or say I had it rough, or anything like that. I say these things to point out that socio-economic status, parents, race, etc... don't always shape things. Sure, I could also be looked at as the anomaly in the situation.
Not sure if it matters, or whatever, but with the recent posting about it all, I felt inclined to say "something"
I was 16. My girlfriend, 15, when she got pregnant. I was 17, She was 16, when my oldest son was born. I was raised in a heavy handed highly pentecostal, home, as the son of a pastor. She was the wild child of parents who worked too much. We knew that pregnancy was a risk. We used protection. It broke. I wasn't naive, She wasn't naive, we were just..... unlucky? Or maybe stupid. Or both. Who knows. It wasn't like we had "intended" to start having sex. It went the way most things went.
Boy meets girl, thinks she is pretty cute.
Girl thinks boy is silly.
Boy takes girl on date
Date leads to kiss
kiss leads to more dates
more dates lead to more kissing
which lead to touching,
which leads to a bedroom.
just over 14 years after the birth of my son, I can tell you, that our paths from that point on have been completely different. Maybe not in the beginning, because we were both idiots. but from our early 20's things have been vastly different. I went to College. She had more kids and got married. I graduated college, She started using drugs. I got married and started a family with my wife. She left her abusive husband for her drug dealer. I was awarded custody of my son. She continued her self destruction. She has been to prison 3 times, jail who knows how many times, 4 trips to rehab, and in the process missed out on getting to know a very cool young man. I have been going to school functions, and sporting events, and hugged him when he was angry, and 3 years of counseling for him, and trips to the doctors to deal with severe ADHD, signs of depression, and a very scary situation at school.
These paths didn't change because of our parents, or social status, or anything like that. Her parents had all the money in the world. Mine.... worked 2 jobs each on top of being highly involved in their church just to make ends meet, and keep food on the table. Her family had paved the way for her to finish high school and go straight to college and make it work. My parents struggled to help me with financing my way through the local Associates Program I completed. Neither of our parents were around much to "supervise" us, and by the time our paths really started to diverge, we were adults.
I don't say these things to blame anyone, or say I had it rough, or anything like that. I say these things to point out that socio-economic status, parents, race, etc... don't always shape things. Sure, I could also be looked at as the anomaly in the situation.
Not sure if it matters, or whatever, but with the recent posting about it all, I felt inclined to say "something"
nobody ever slaughtered an entire school with a smart phone and a twitter account – they have, however, toppled governments. - Jim Wright