06-20-2003, 06:09 PM
Quote:Everything aside, the *central* purpose of marriage is the care of the children. With the large percentage of children without marriage and the large percentage of marriage without children, that concept covers nearly nothing.
I think the both of you, Occhidiangela and Pete, are trying place marriage and relationships into a definable quandary with strict adhesions towards a specified order in which a relationship should be. Youâre trying to define the purpose of marriage without knowing why people get married in the first place. However, as anyone in a relationship knows, âall bets are offâ, meaning people are so different in their approach to relationships, that they almost never fully get along in every aspect. Marriages need nurturing and take time and work to make happen.
I married my wife out of what I'd like to call âDestinyâ. I saw her for the first time in my life at a local restaurant. She was coming out the door of the restaurant and instantly I felt her presence so I turned my head and magnetically, we both locked eyes. Suddenly, we both embraced each other and started madly kissing. I have never done anything like that before (I'm a talk then kiss type of person) but I honestly felt we knew each other in a past life and were meant to be together. Years later after talking about it with my wife, she still feels the same way I did. I've never loved anybody as much as I love my wife. She is my companion and soul mate.
I have a good friend who married for companionship. He can have children, but his wife cannot. He married not to procreate (as Pete exclaims is the one and only true purpose behind the idea of marriage), but to enjoy a fulfilled lifetime with his spouse. Isnât this what marriage is *really* all about? Companionship? I find it strange when an elderly spouse dies and the other will sometimes die within 1-3 years.
I know of a LOT of people who marry and then leave the area their family lives in so they can start a family away from their family. Perhaps these people feel that being around the parents that âcontrolledâ their behavior as children will try and take over their relationship. Who know, but this seems to debunk the whole âcultural identity of marriagesâ bit.
What I'm trying to say, and I think I basically already did, is that people don't marry FOR children, to procreate, to keep or increase cultural boundaries, or even because of religion. The central focus of a personâs mindset when marrying is one of love and a sincere interest in companionship (most of the time). Companionship and love; this is the purpose of marriage.
[EDIT] It just dawned on me of the numerous studies involving people and relationships and a humans basic need to be social. If a human does not have a social outlet, that person begins to withdraw, become depressed, and eventually die. It is not only an important need but also a vital necessity to have social interaction. What does this have to do with marriage? Iâm not sure, however I do feel it could be the driving force behind marriages â the need to feel wanted by others.
"The true value of a human being is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has attained liberation from the self." -Albert Einsetin