06-14-2003, 06:38 AM
Quote:More singing! That's a good thing...
YOU ASKED FOR IT!!
Over on another site that some of us look at now and then, I posted the Songs that were Cut from LotR the Movies. [People tried to ignore it so I'd stop HAH!] Originally the movies were to feature well-known songs from the 60's and 70's with the lyrics adapted to the movie. However, since Michael Jackson owns many of those songs, and he wanted too much money for their use, the songs were ditched. A shame really. Well here's a few, judge for yourself.
----------------------------------------------------------------
The original lyrics for this song have been on TV in recent years in a really stupid communications company ad. But you already knew the song...
Come Together
Here come old Sharky he come rude and disdainly
He got juju see-ball he one Grayass-whopper
He got hair long white shiny
Got to be a wizard he just do what he Sees
He wear no point-hat he got tower staff-ball
He got Press-On finger he shoot snowball fall-ya
He say 'I have you, you join Me'
One thing I can tell you is Orthanc is not free
Come together right now you join Me
He orc production he make Uruk-hai guys
He got Orcish sidekicks he one snowpass tracker
He got smiths down below his trees
Hold you in his chamber you can feel his unease
Come together right now you join Me
He big white hander he got Entish warning
He got muddy water he one Isenfilter
He say 'One is gone and so are we'
Got to have the munchies 'cause he smoked hard some 'Leaf
Come together right now you join Me
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Unfortunately the loss of the following song meant that the use of Buddy Ebson (sp?) for the role of The Gaffer became meaningless, so they ditched that, too. It was slightly disconcerting to listeners because the rhythm of the 2nd verse matched that of the 1st, unlike the original song.
Cleverly Underhillbillies
Now listen to the story of Bag-End Frodo
Got no job but he seems well-off ya know
Then one day he was showin' off his ring
And up pops a mage says Put Away the Thing!
The Ring, that is
Isuldir's Bane
Sauron's Hope
Well the next thing you know it's off to Rivendell
His kin folk bought his place it went to hell
So what does he get for bringing Ring in hand?
They make him a courier to the Evil Land
Mordor that is
Zombie pools
Molten fires
-------------------------------------------
Can you Imagine Elrond singing? In English? With little-circle glasses?
This song would have been cut anyway, because no one could come up with a meaningful line to replace the place-holder line "live like dogs with fleas", a reference to all the unwashed hair in the movie. Test audiences didn't get it (understandably). You could say this song died from a lack of imagination.
Imagine
Imagine there's no Havens
It easy if you try
No place to run to
Westward only sky
Imagine all our People
Cannot get away
You may say I'm immortal
But I'm not the only one
I hope you'll choose to join me
And we'll leave this dive as one
Imagine there's no kingdoms
It isn't hard to do
No one to wait to die for
No real evil too
Imagine all our People
Live like dogs with fleas
You may say I'm immortal
But I'm not the only one
I hope you'll choose to join me
And we'll leave this dive as one
Imagine we're all equals
I wonder if you can
No need for pride or disdain
A brotherhood with Man
Imagine all the Peoples
Sharing Middle Earth
You may say I'm immortal
But I'm not the only one
I hope you'll choose to join me
And we'll leave this dive as one
-------------------------------------------
And of course, with Southrons appearing in the third movie, you must have Neil Young's "Southern Man"! Oh well, coulda-woulda-shoulda.
Southron Man
Southron Man better watch your back
Don't forget that you're just the flack
Southron host gonna brunt attack
Now your Boss is all burned and black
Southron Man
Led by Nazgul and they'll die fast
Tall white towers and horses massed
Southron man will deal them a big blast
Wingsteed screamin' and their hope won't last
How long? How long?
Dear Dernhelm, your hair is long and blond!
I've seen the Black King land aground
Swear by God you're gonna cut him down!
Hobbit screamin' and headless dead crown!
Eowyn? Eowyn?
-------------------------------------------
Finally, this one is Griselda's personal favorite. Yes, she actually said so!
SAM
SAM, SAM, SAM, SAM
SAM, SAM, SAM, SAM
SAM, SAM, SAM, SAM
Lovely SAM!
Wonderful SAM!
Lovely SAM!
Wonderful SAM
SAM, SAM, SAM, SAM
SAM, SAM, SAM, SAM
Lovely SAM! Lovely SAM
Lovely SAM! Wonderful SAM
SAM, SAM, SAM, SAM
SAM... SAM... SAM... SAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
©2003 VDP. Parodied works retain theirs, obviously.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
PS:
Quote:What IS it about Equines and the feminine lust potential?
Well, the typical guy answer to that would be "How would you end this phrase: Hung like a ....?" but I suspect the real answer is that horses: 1. have the most beautiful eyes, 2. have large firm muscles, 3. actually listen when you talk, 4. don't say stupid things, 5. can take you places you want to go, 6. are content with just nuzzling, and 7. don't leave the seat up.
Oh, since you brought up Eowyn and horses, I'll post one more, one that otherwise is too much like the original song ("American Woman") to make postworthy.
Rohirrim Woman
Hey Rohirrim Woman
Stay away from me
Hey Rohirrim Woman
Mama let me be
Don't come hanging around my door
I don't wanna eat your stew no more
I got more important things to do
Than spend my time taming horse for you
Now woman
Stay away
Hey Rohirrim Woman
Listen what I say
Hey Rohirrim Woman
Get away from me
Hey Rohirrim Woman
Mama let me be
Don't come knocking around my sword
I don't wanna soothe your horsies no more
Pretty hair can hypnotize
Sparkle someone else's eyes
Now woman, get away
Hey Rohirrim Woman
Listen what I say
Hey Rohirrim Woman
Said get away
Hey Rohirrim Woman
Listen what I say
Don't come knocking around my sword
Don't wanna eat your stew no more
I don't need your war-maid dreams
I don't need your cross-dress schemes
Pretty hair can hypnotize
Sparkle someone else's eyes
Now woman, get away
Hey Rohirrim Woman
Listen what I say
Hey Rohirrim Woman
Stay away from me
Hey Rohirrim Woman
Mama let me be
I gotta go, I gotta get away
Baby, I gotta go, I am dying
I'm gonna leave your Rohan
Bye-bye
Hey Rohirrim Woman
You're no good for me
And I'm no good for you
Hey Rohirrim woman
I'll look you right in the eye
And tell you what I'm gonna do
You know I'm gonna leave
You know I'm gonna go
You know I'm gonna leave
I'm gonna leave you Rohan
Goodbye you Rohirrim Woman