Completely off topic, wrong place and 100% correct!!!
Funny as hell too.
Mist
>The Guys' Rule
>At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
>Finally, the guys' side of the story.
>(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>We always hear " the rules"
>From the female side.
>
>Now here are the rules from the male side.
>These are our rules!
>Please note... these are all numbered "1"
>ON PURPOSE!
>1. Men are NOT mind readers.
>
>1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
>We need it up, you need it down.
>You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>
>1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
>or the changing of the tides.
>Let it be.
>
>1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>
>1. Crying is blackmail.
>
>1. Ask for what you want.
>Let us be clear on this one:
>Subtle hints do not work!
>Strong hints do not work!
>Obvious hints do not work!
>Just say it!
>
>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
>we do.
>Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
> See a doctor.
>
>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>
>1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to
>act like soap opera guys.
>
>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>Don't ask us.
>
>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes
>you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
>
>1. You can either ask us to do something
>Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
>If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
>1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
>commercials.
>
>1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
>
>1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
>Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour . Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
>have no idea what mauve is.
>
>1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>We do that.
>
>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
>nothing's wrong.
>We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know
>you will bring it up again later.
>
>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
>don't want to hear.
>
>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
>Really.
>
>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
>discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
>or golf.
>
>1. You have enough clothes.
>
>1. You have too many shoes.
>
>1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>
>1. Thank you for reading this.
>Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>
>
>But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
>
>Pass this to as many men as you can -
>to give them a laugh.
>
>Pass this to as many women as you can -
>to give them a bigger laugh
Funny as hell too.
Mist
>The Guys' Rule
>At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
>Finally, the guys' side of the story.
>(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>We always hear " the rules"
>From the female side.
>
>Now here are the rules from the male side.
>These are our rules!
>Please note... these are all numbered "1"
>ON PURPOSE!
>1. Men are NOT mind readers.
>
>1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
>We need it up, you need it down.
>You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>
>1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
>or the changing of the tides.
>Let it be.
>
>1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>
>1. Crying is blackmail.
>
>1. Ask for what you want.
>Let us be clear on this one:
>Subtle hints do not work!
>Strong hints do not work!
>Obvious hints do not work!
>Just say it!
>
>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
>we do.
>Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
> See a doctor.
>
>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>
>1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to
>act like soap opera guys.
>
>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>Don't ask us.
>
>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes
>you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
>
>1. You can either ask us to do something
>Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
>If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
>1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
>commercials.
>
>1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
>
>1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
>Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour . Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
>have no idea what mauve is.
>
>1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>We do that.
>
>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
>nothing's wrong.
>We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know
>you will bring it up again later.
>
>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
>don't want to hear.
>
>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
>Really.
>
>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
>discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
>or golf.
>
>1. You have enough clothes.
>
>1. You have too many shoes.
>
>1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>
>1. Thank you for reading this.
>Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>
>
>But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
>
>Pass this to as many men as you can -
>to give them a laugh.
>
>Pass this to as many women as you can -
>to give them a bigger laugh