I don't believe I've ever started a topic here, but I felt that this topic was Absolutely Necessary for the continued fortune of those who Lurk at the Lounge.
Having had passed on some bogus meat information earlier, thanks to a fact-challenged spouse and her gullible husband, I feel some need for balance, a need to further the world by edification based upon my very own experience, rather than 2nd-or-more-hand repetitions full of sound and fury.
To get to the warning, we must first deal with an admission. You may want to sit down. I'm having trouble even typing it with my eyes averted. *sigh* Here goes....
I ... like .... SPAM!
I refer of course to that variety which is purchased in a convenient container, nowadays having the convenient pull top, which opens to reveal the pressed spiced ham in some sort of agar-like goo. The kind which is helping to put the kids of angioplasty surgeons through orthodontia and law school.
Anyway, I have found the Oven Roasted Turkey variety to my liking. I have recently tried the Hickory Smoke Flavored variety, and despite it not being smoked enough for me, that was also to my liking. (Can anyone spot the D2 character here? Anyone? Anyone?) I tried Spam Lite a while back but have little memory of it. Why go Lite? What's not to like??
I can eat it straight from the can, and usually do, tho I try to scrape the agar off (am I agarophobic? HAW HAW *snort*). But if I have time, and a stove, grilling it makes it taste much better.
ON TO THE WARNING BASED ON MY VERY OWN PERSONAL TRUE EXPERIENCE ISYN!
So, there's another variety of SPAM out there these days. You may have seen it.
SPAM, with: Hormel Bacon!
That sounds yummier than just Hickory Smoke, eh? That's what I figured. I got me a can and I waited to a weekend brunchtime where I could fry it up. The time comes, I open the can, and NOW COMES THE WARNING!!!
I splorped the SPAM out of the can into a petri dish substitute (a plate), so I could cut it into nice even slices.
I started slicing... and .... UGH! YUCK! While I was starting to slice the top of the SPAM block, from the middle of the block pus started to squeeze out of the middle of the block like frosting from a .. uh .. frosting thingie. Okay it wasn't pus. It wasn't a maggot either tho it was about that size and color. No, it was pure fat. Not the sorta-transparent-yellow fat like the little chunks in a lot of meat, but opaque and Definitely Solid White. Think Crisco. It was exactly like Crisco. Might have even been Crisco for all I know. But since they said "made with Hormel Bacon" I'm thinking it's bacon fat that somehow formed into pimple-style pockets within the SPAM.
It was gross. I was so disgusted I couldn't eat the SPAM. (... pause for effect ... two ... three ...) Okay, no I couldn't let that much SPAM go to waste, so I depimpled my SPAM, fried it and ate it.
So, I would recommend that you avoid the SPAM with Real Hormel Bacon, unless you'll be baking with teflonless cookie sheets or have some kind of sick perversion that involves bacon fat and/or Crisco. . . . . hmm, may I should get another can . . . .
This public service announcement is my Official Good Deed for the Week. You're welcome.
-V
VP, Food and Catering Services
The Forsaken Inn
Restaurant Now Open Under New Management!
Having had passed on some bogus meat information earlier, thanks to a fact-challenged spouse and her gullible husband, I feel some need for balance, a need to further the world by edification based upon my very own experience, rather than 2nd-or-more-hand repetitions full of sound and fury.
To get to the warning, we must first deal with an admission. You may want to sit down. I'm having trouble even typing it with my eyes averted. *sigh* Here goes....
I ... like .... SPAM!
I refer of course to that variety which is purchased in a convenient container, nowadays having the convenient pull top, which opens to reveal the pressed spiced ham in some sort of agar-like goo. The kind which is helping to put the kids of angioplasty surgeons through orthodontia and law school.
Anyway, I have found the Oven Roasted Turkey variety to my liking. I have recently tried the Hickory Smoke Flavored variety, and despite it not being smoked enough for me, that was also to my liking. (Can anyone spot the D2 character here? Anyone? Anyone?) I tried Spam Lite a while back but have little memory of it. Why go Lite? What's not to like??
I can eat it straight from the can, and usually do, tho I try to scrape the agar off (am I agarophobic? HAW HAW *snort*). But if I have time, and a stove, grilling it makes it taste much better.
ON TO THE WARNING BASED ON MY VERY OWN PERSONAL TRUE EXPERIENCE ISYN!
So, there's another variety of SPAM out there these days. You may have seen it.
SPAM, with: Hormel Bacon!
That sounds yummier than just Hickory Smoke, eh? That's what I figured. I got me a can and I waited to a weekend brunchtime where I could fry it up. The time comes, I open the can, and NOW COMES THE WARNING!!!
I splorped the SPAM out of the can into a petri dish substitute (a plate), so I could cut it into nice even slices.
I started slicing... and .... UGH! YUCK! While I was starting to slice the top of the SPAM block, from the middle of the block pus started to squeeze out of the middle of the block like frosting from a .. uh .. frosting thingie. Okay it wasn't pus. It wasn't a maggot either tho it was about that size and color. No, it was pure fat. Not the sorta-transparent-yellow fat like the little chunks in a lot of meat, but opaque and Definitely Solid White. Think Crisco. It was exactly like Crisco. Might have even been Crisco for all I know. But since they said "made with Hormel Bacon" I'm thinking it's bacon fat that somehow formed into pimple-style pockets within the SPAM.
It was gross. I was so disgusted I couldn't eat the SPAM. (... pause for effect ... two ... three ...) Okay, no I couldn't let that much SPAM go to waste, so I depimpled my SPAM, fried it and ate it.
So, I would recommend that you avoid the SPAM with Real Hormel Bacon, unless you'll be baking with teflonless cookie sheets or have some kind of sick perversion that involves bacon fat and/or Crisco. . . . . hmm, may I should get another can . . . .
This public service announcement is my Official Good Deed for the Week. You're welcome.
-V
VP, Food and Catering Services
The Forsaken Inn
Restaurant Now Open Under New Management!