Will of Arlokk

[Bolty]

Well there two guild who are collecting first kills in Naxx. He is in one and tops their healing meters, is their healer for special jobs.

*giggle*

Bolty's Guide to Topping E-Peen Meters

Since DamageMeters is the sole means to determine who the bestest player evar is, it's crucial to make sure you're at the top of the list. Remember, raiding isn't about winning objectives, it's about stroking your e-peen! This means:

1) if you're DPS, refuse to do anything that does not directly correspond to getting more damage. All forms of crowd control or spell interrupts are merely there to slow your DPS down; surely the raid would benefit more if you simply kill things faster. The more mass damage you do to the highest number of targets, the better. Be sure to break as many shackles/sheeps/fears as you can; it's the healers' problem if they get killed by it, lern2play. If you aggro anything, it's the tank's fault for being nub.

2) if you're healing, ignore any duties unrelated to healing. Being #1 in healing meters means you rawk! Dispelling/cleansing is for nubs that can't heal. Mana efficiency is for tards with crappy gear. Be sure to get your heals in before anyone else can, because healing is by nature a very competitive activity, right?

How to top e-peen meters?

1) Accumulate tons of +heal gear.
2) Downrank your fastest-cast heal so it heals for 500 hps or so.
3) Set a macro that selects the member of the raid with the most hitpoints lost - this can be done via CTRA's Emergency Monitor feature - and use your fast-cast low-rank heal.
4) Hit that macro button constantly, always, all night long, in and out of battles. Ignore the fact that anyone's bandaging; they're just trying to take your healing e-peen points away from you. Another healer being mana efficient and queuing up a long, powerful heal on someone? Laugh as you jump in with your quick heal and send their overhealing sky-high - newbs!

Congratulations! You have topped e-peen meters, and will win the love and adulation of everyone around you. You are now the #1 Priest on the server!


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I still can't believe people pay attention to DamageMeters and actually rate players by it. It just boggles my mind. DamageMeters can tell you if someone's doing a bad job - pointing out rogues who take too much damage, healers who are being lazy, etc. It is absolutely terrible for telling you if someone is doing a good job and damages a raid's effectiveness by having people pay attention to it as a measure for their abilities.

I only post this because I've seen people do it (healers, I mean). I've seen Druids, Paladins, and Priests do this as a means to get high in healing meters - casting small heals like crazy every chance they get simply to climb that chart. You could explain to some people forever how useless DamageMeters is as a judge of ability and they'll still never get it.

-Bolty