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TWAS THE NOCTURNAL SEGMENT OF THE DIURNAL PERIOD - kandrathe - 12-31-2009
Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual
yuletide celebration. And throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity
was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that
species of domestic rodent known as mus musclus.
Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood-burning
caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an eminent
visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is
given the honorific title of Saint Nicholas.
The progeny, ensconced in their respective accommodations or repose, were
experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving
rhythmically through their cerebrums.
And we parental progenitors in our nocturnal head coverings, were about
to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous
exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of dissonance
that I felt compelled to arise with alactrity from my place of repose for the
purpose of ascertaining the precise source thereof.
Fastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing this
fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance without, reflected as
it was on the surface of a recent crystalline precipitation, might be said to
rival that of the solar merdidan itself; thus permitting my incredulous optical
sensory organs to behold a miniature airborne runnered conveyance drawn by
eight diminutive specimens of the genus ragifer. Piloted by a minuscule aged
chauffeur so ebullient and nimble that it became instantly apparent to me that
he was indeed our anticipated caller.
With his ungulate motive power traveling at what may have been more
vertigiuous velocity than patriotionalar predators, he vodiferated loudly, exuelled
breath musically through contracted lasia, and addressed each of the octet by his
or her respected cognonen; Now Dasher, now Dancer, et al. Guiding them to the
uppermost exterior level of our abode, through which structured could readily
distinguish the concatenations of each of the thirty two cloven pedal extremities.
As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was performing a
180-degree pivot, our distinguished visitant achieved, with utmost celerity in
animal pelts soiled by the ebon residue from oxidations of carboniferous fuels
which had accumulated on the walls thereof. His resemblance to a street vendor
I attributed largely to the plethora of assorted playthings which he bore
exorsally in commodious cloth receptacle.
His ocular sensors were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his submaxillary
dermal indentations gave every evidence of exgaging amiability. The
capillaries of his mandibular regions and nasal appurtenance were engorged with
blood which suffused the suboutaneous layers, the former approximating the
coloration of albion's floral embelem, the latter that of the prunus avium, or
sweet cherry. His amusing sub- and superalabials resembled nothing so much as
a common loop knot, and their amdent hirscule facial adornment appeared like
small, tabular and columnar crystals of frozen dihydrogen monoxide.
Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smoking apparatus whose gray fumes,
forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive of a decorative
seasonal circlet of Ilex Aquifolium. His visage was wider than it was high, and when
he waxed audibly mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region undulated in the manner
of impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical container. He was as short,
neither more nor less than an obese, jocund, multigenarian gnome, the optical
perception of whom rendered me visible frolicsome despite every effort to
refrain from so being. By rapidly lowering and then elevating one eyelid and
rotating his head slightly to one side he indicated that trepidation on my part
was groundless.
Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the aforementioned
hosiery with various of the aforementioned articles of merchandise extracted
from his aforementioned previously dorsally transported cloth receptacle. Upon
completion of his task, he executed an abrupt about-face, placed a singular
manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to his proboscis, inclined his cranium forward
in a gesture of leave taking, and forthwith effected his egress by renegotiating
(in reverse) the smoke passage.
He then propelled himself in a short vector onto his conveyance, directed a musical
expulsion of air through his contracted oral sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds
among the seed-bearing portions of a common weed. But I overheard his parting
exclamation, audible immediately prior to his vehiculation beyond the limits of visibility:
ESTATIC YULETIDE TO THE PLANETARY CONSTITUENCY, AND TO THAT SELFSAME
ASSEMBLAGE, MY SINCEREST WISHES FOR A SALUBRIOUSLY BENEFICIAL AND GRATIFYINGLY
PLEASURABLE PERIOD BETWEEN SUNSET AND DAWN.
TWAS THE NOCTURNAL SEGMENT OF THE DIURNAL PERIOD - --Pete - 12-31-2009
Hi,
:D:D:D
I didn't know you were fluent in educationalese. :whistling:
--Pete
TWAS THE NOCTURNAL SEGMENT OF THE DIURNAL PERIOD - Sir_Die_alot - 01-01-2010
"The night before Christmas as written by Congress" would be a better post title.
TWAS THE NOCTURNAL SEGMENT OF THE DIURNAL PERIOD - [wcip]Angel - 01-04-2010
Jesus Christ that was difficult to read! I'm not going to pretend I got every inch of that text, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. If yours, applause applause.
I teach English at a Norwegian upper secondary school. I'm tempted to hand it out to my students as a translation exercise (INSANE English --> regular English). I fear they'd suffer a seizure after the title.;)(ditto for some of my colleagues:P)
TWAS THE NOCTURNAL SEGMENT OF THE DIURNAL PERIOD - Sir_Die_alot - 01-04-2010
Quote:Angel' date='Jan 4 2010, 12:57 AM' post='176032']I teach English at a Norwegian upper secondary school. I'm tempted to hand it out to my students as a translation exercise (INSANE English --> regular English). I fear they'd suffer a seizure after the title.;)(ditto for some of my colleagues:P)You should do it and post some of the results they come up with. Translating this would probably even make a great (or mean!) final exam. If you can sort this out spur of the moment you are probably as fluent in english as you are going to get. :lol: