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+--- Thread: Want a raise? Wash your vagina! (/thread-12467.html)
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RE: Want a raise? Wash your vagina! - Nystul - 08-28-2010
(08-28-2010, 01:57 AM)Jester Wrote: As usual, Mitchell and Webb nail it.
-Jester
That's hilarious!
But there are a few things about us men that seem to have been forgotten here. It's not just as simple as shaving and drinking beer, although those are the most important things. For one thing, there is the whole hair issue. We would all be bald by 20 without the right products to fight it. And then when we get our hair back, it will be gray and need special products to color it. And then we cannot wear black without anti-dandruff shampoo. After that is sorted, we must remember to bathe with a manly bar of soap and then use a manly deodorant. Only then are we ready to shave and drink beer. But when going out to drink, we should remember that men get heart burn all of the time (probably because we always eat off of the grill), so let's bring something for that. Then finally we get to this key step of choosing the right alcoholic beverage (this is absolutely essential... a bad import could ruin everything). The point of all of this routine is of course to have sex with hot babes. But since we never know when that special moment will happen, we need to be prepared... with proper ED medication.
...On another note, there is surely something fishy going on if your coworkers are close enough to smell your crotch. Nevertheless I make a point of wearing clean underwear to work almost every day. Even when I'm not asking for a promotion!
RE: Want a raise? Wash your vagina! - Hammerskjold - 08-28-2010
(08-28-2010, 10:27 AM)Nystul Wrote: Nevertheless I make a point of wearing clean underwear to work almost every day. Even when I'm not asking for a promotion!
No one likes an overachiever dammit! Stop making the rest of us look bad.
On a related note, as a guy who will be going to some job interviews in a few months to try to land my dream job. Thinking I might douse my crotch with some Old Spice. Old Spice, or Sex Panther. Haven't made my final decision yet, but when I do it will be sooo totally decisive and confident.
RE: Want a raise? Wash your vagina! - kandrathe - 08-28-2010
(08-28-2010, 02:23 PM)Hammerskjold Wrote: Haven't made my final decision yet, but when I do it will be sooo totally decisive and confident.Old Spice would demonstrate a good solid traditional dependable cog in the machine, while Sex Panther would show you to be an eager corporate climber. You still might want to consider Balla (for active men), if you get sweaty down there during the interview.
RE: Want a raise? Wash your vagina! - LavCat - 08-28-2010
My former boss (a couple of jobs removed) was known to make the joke: "A blind man walked into a fish market and said "Hello, Madam." Then there was one about the Polish Ballerina that I won't even go near. Thank you for bringing these to mind that I'd hoped I had long forgotten.
I think I am off to take a shower.
RE: Want a raise? Wash your vagina! - DeeBye - 08-29-2010
(08-28-2010, 04:59 AM)--Pete Wrote: Hi,
(08-28-2010, 04:29 AM)DeeBye Wrote: I'm male and I have a female boss. Can I get a raise if I clean my penis and show her?
I don't know. Can you?
--Pete
This might be the greatest reply I have ever seen. I don't care that it's at my expense.
RE: Want a raise? Wash your vagina! - kandrathe - 08-29-2010
(08-29-2010, 04:50 AM)DeeBye Wrote:ROFL!(08-28-2010, 04:59 AM)--Pete Wrote: Hi,
(08-28-2010, 04:29 AM)DeeBye Wrote: I'm male and I have a female boss. Can I get a raise if I clean my penis and show her?
I don't know. Can you?
--Pete
This might be the greatest reply I have ever seen. I don't care that it's at my expense.
RE: Want a raise? Wash your vagina! - Occhidiangela - 09-02-2010
(08-28-2010, 12:48 AM)Treesh Wrote: Really, the top thing should be your job, not your personal hygiene.I guess you never worked with someone who doesn't bathe regularly. You really don't want to, unless you are both in the same foxhole and can't help it.
We had to give R@@@ a few years back an forcefully administered Navy shower, after he not only didn't bathe, but also did not put his clothes into the laundry. (This on a ship at sea). For the next two months, the senior air crewman had to basically direct him daily to bathe/clean, and inspect his locker and laundry, so that the fool actually did as normal people do. After about two months, he finally was able to do the correct thing without being supervised. He was 24.
My daughter, as pres of the high school choir, had to take the lead with the six or seven girls who, having become teenagers, were still not keen on bathing, and who smelled up the choir loft something fierce. As the choir director was a man, he was not going to get slammed with a suit over telling those little ragmuffins to bathe. So, my daughter got to exercise some peer leadership on that score. It was a learning experience, but she was modestly effective. They still used a lot of Fabreeze and other such air fresheners.
Good hygiene in the workplace, and school, needs to have certain minimum requirements.
So, wash your ass, wash your vagina, wash your pits, wash your crotch, get that fumunda cheese dealt with, and brush your teeth. Your coworkers (and fellow students) will thank you for it.
Quote:Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. I f you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. If you giver her your manhood, she enlarges what is given to her.Maybe the sig ought to be revised to include DEebye's thought process ...
RE: Want a raise? Wash your vagina! - Treesh - 09-02-2010
(09-02-2010, 02:28 AM)Occhidiangela Wrote:(08-28-2010, 12:48 AM)Treesh Wrote: Really, the top thing should be your job, not your personal hygiene.I guess you never worked with someone who doesn't bathe regularly. You really don't want to, unless you are both in the same foxhole and can't help it.
He usually bathed once a week. Towards the end of the week no one wanted to work too close to him since it was a very sweaty job. I've smelled worse from people just shopping in Walmart. It just doesn't bother me as long as they work, but again, I'm not going to hang out with them in any fashion once work is done. They pay me to work and work with others so I do. I'll put up with a lot of stupid crap from coworkers because I'm being paid to. Once I'm off the cloak, who I spend time with is my own choice so I don't put up with that nasty crap.