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+--- Thread: The Corrupted Wish Game (/thread-6501.html)
The Corrupted Wish Game - Occhidiangela - 06-06-2005
Lady Vashj,Jun 6 2005, 07:07 AM Wrote:I wish I had never dated the Antichrist.
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Granted, you dated Jesus briefly, when he was about 22, and you are now a bit over 2000 years old, but don't look a day over 1900. No amount of oil of Olay is going to resolve your dry skin, and dearie, those crows feet are the worst!
I wish people would get over the alleged mishandling of Al Quran: it's not as if the pieces of paper is what is holy, it is the Message that is "Holy." (Or wholly made up, seeing as how Mohamed was an illiterate plaigerist. How's that for an oxymoron)
Occhi the Infidel
PS: There Bolty, happy now? :whistling: Something more important? B)
The Corrupted Wish Game - Lady Vashj - 06-06-2005
Occhidiangela,Jun 6 2005, 11:02 AM Wrote:Granted, you dated Jesus briefly, when he was about 22, and you are now a bit over 2000 years old, but don't look a day over 1900. No amount of oil of Olay is going to resolve your dry skin, and dearie, those crows feet are the worst!Granted. But by calling Mohamed an illiterate plagiarist (I can spell words you can't! Ha ha!), you have incited the Muslim world to equal or greater rage. The local mosque is advocating a boycott of this site, and Muslim hackers are going to shut it down for three months while they erase you and all mention of you from it. You are the weakest link. Goodbye.
I wish people would get over the alleged mishandling of Al Quran: it's not as if the pieces of paper is what is holy, it is the Message that is "Holy." (Or wholly made up, seeing as how Mohamed was an illiterate plaigerist. How's that for an oxymoron)
Occhi the Infidel
PS: There Bolty, happy now? :whistling: Something more important? B)
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I wish more sublimely stupid people would erase themselves from the gene pool - quick, before they reproduce - without taking any "fit" people with them. (I mean "fit" in the Darwinian sense.) Like that lady I saw trying to feed a traffic ticket into an expired meter.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Occhidiangela - 06-06-2005
Lady Vashj,Jun 6 2005, 09:27 AM Wrote:I wish more sublimely stupid people would erase themselves from the gene pool - quick, before they reproduce - without taking any "fit" people with them. (I mean "fit" in the Darwinian sense.) Like that lady I saw trying to feed a traffic ticket into an expired meter.
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Granted. However, by erasing themselves, having first gone to the middle of the Sahara to ensure no "fit" folks got hit in the blast, they convert mass to energy (since it can be neither created nor destroyed) and set of thermonuclear explosions. This kills millions of innocent lizards and camels, bringings on nuclear winter. Equatorial Guinea, LIberia, Sierra Leone, Niber, Burkina Faso, and Nigera have the mildest summer in centuries, and all make a fortune in tourist revenue. This stops balance of payment problems, and sub Saharan Africa begins to emerge from its debtor status. But Paul Wolfowitz still takes over at the World Bank. :P
I wish the local mosque's congregation would just try something around here. Anything. I shoot straight.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Occhidiangela - 06-06-2005
Well, I wish they'd do anything other than use their evil powers to make me double post. DOH! :blush: :unsure: :ph34r:
Occhi
The Corrupted Wish Game - Lady Vashj - 06-06-2005
Granted. They call up their buddies in Pakistan to tell them about the perfect opportunity to try out their new missiles.
You can't shoot that straight. I promise you.
I wish that all of my friends were not having a fun, fulfilling summer vacation. I wish that at least one of them was taking summer classes too. I feel so lonely...
EDIT: Umm...dude. Occhi. How was your corruption bad? If sub-Saharan Africa starts emerging from its perennial debt, that sounds like one of the best things that could possibly happen to the world. Over and above a cure for cancer. AIDS would be a different story.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Occhidiangela - 06-06-2005
Lady Vashj,Jun 6 2005, 09:46 AM Wrote:Granted. They call up their buddies in Pakistan to tell them about the perfect opportunity to try out their new missiles.
You can't shoot that straight. I promise you.
I wish that all of my friends were not having a fun, fulfilling summer vacation. I wish that at least one of them was taking summer classes too. I feel so lonely...
EDIT: Umm...dude. Occhi. How was your corruption bad? If sub-Saharan Africa starts emerging from its perennial debt, that sounds like one of the best things that could possibly happen to the world. Over and above a cure for cancer. AIDS would be a different story.
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Oh, the dead camels and lizards was a bad thing, and Wolfowitz still going to World Bank was bad.
Also, I don't need to shoot that straight, as the Pakistani missiles can't reach US. Your "bad" bad becomes Pakistan and India start a nuclear war on the subcontinent. Could make it tough to get 1-800 help desk info on MS products . . .
In any case, that nuclear war sounds entertaining, if highly lethal and a bane to Hindi as a whole. Embedded reporters (please go, Geraldo and Christiana) will get atomized, so no shills on Sky, CNN, and Fox to fight the ratings war with Ground Zero Reports.
Mix nuclear weapons with centuries of ethnic-cultural hatred, and you get some real entertainment, per George Carlin. :P
Occhi
The Corrupted Wish Game - Lady Vashj - 06-06-2005
You didn't corrupt my new wish, and you didn't make a wish of your own. To the Port-o-Potty with you.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Minionman - 06-06-2005
Lady Vashj,Jun 6 2005, 10:09 AM Wrote:You didn't corrupt my new wish, and you didn't make a wish of your own. To the Port-o-Potty with you.
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Granted. Occhidiangela goes to the port-o-potty, and mails the contents to you.
I wish for eternal happiness.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Occhidiangela - 06-06-2005
Lady Vashj,Jun 6 2005, 10:09 AM Wrote:You didn't corrupt my new wish, and you didn't make a wish of your own. To the Port-o-Potty with you.
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Lady Vashj
Granted. Your friends all commit mass suicide, per Jim Jones and Guyana, and you are no longer l onely because their ghosts haunt you 24/7 thanks to your wish having resulted in their demise.
I wish Minionman would close the wish chain that I gooned up.
Occhi
PS: Hey, who forgot to replenish the paper in the Porta Potty? Had to use some pages of the Koran someone left in here for "reading during quality time." :P
The Corrupted Wish Game - Minionman - 06-06-2005
Occhidiangela,Jun 6 2005, 10:41 AM Wrote:Lady Vashj
Granted. Your friends all commit mass suicide, per Jim Jones and Guyana, and you are no longer l onely because their ghosts haunt you 24/7 thanks to your wish having resulted in their demise.
I wish Minionman would close the wish chain that I gooned up.
Occhi
PS: Hey, who forgot to replenish the paper in the Porta Potty? Had to use some pages of the Koran someone left in here for "reading during quality time." :P
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Granted. Ithan start the internet version of "truth or dare".
I wish for eternal happiness. (again)
The Corrupted Wish Game - Jeunemaitre - 06-06-2005
Minionman,Jun 6 2005, 01:01 PM Wrote:I wish for eternal happiness. (again)
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Congratulations. Eternal happiness is now a reality; unfortunately, not for you. Eternal happiness has come to your neighbor. Yeah, the one who borrowed your weed-whacker. And seeing as part of his eternal happiness is your disappearance... Sorry buddy, but you've suffered spontaneous existence failure. You've consequently obtained your 'eternal,' but happiness? [8-ball voice] "Unclear. Ask again later!" [/8-ball voice].
I wish that I could follow the government's every-other-Friday-off scheduling (work 44 hrs one week then 36 the next taking friday off).
The Corrupted Wish Game - Lady Vashj - 06-06-2005
Granted. You now understand some portion of the government's logic, specifically relating to this every-other-Friday-off idea. Unfortunately, governmental logic is classified under "Things Man Was Not Meant to Know", along with the ultimate nature of reality and the contents of the Necronomicon. You go insane and commit suicide by autocannibalism. Or maybe that was the reborn Babylonian god, consuming the flesh of his unwitting host before unleashing unspeakable horrors upon the world.
I wish textbooks were cheaper. I just laid out over a hundred bucks for one, lone, single, individual, USED textbook.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Minionman - 06-06-2005
Lady Vashj,Jun 6 2005, 12:59 PM Wrote:Granted. You now understand some portion of the government's logic, specifically relating to this every-other-Friday-off idea. Unfortunately, governmental logic is classified under "Things Man Was Not Meant to Know", along with the ultimate nature of reality and the contents of the Necronomicon. You go insane and commit suicide by autocannibalism. Or maybe that was the reborn Babylonian god, consuming the flesh of his unwitting host before unleashing unspeakable horrors upon the world.
I wish textbooks were cheaper. I just laid out over a hundred bucks for one, lone, single, individual, USED textbook.
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Granted, textbooks are cheaper, and because you have the money you are now expected to carry 5 or 6 per class. (Yes, they are way too epensive. I've been taking some college classes in high school, so see what you are talking about.)
I wish I could mind control people.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Lady Vashj - 06-06-2005
Granted. But you seriously underestimate exactly what goes into making a person's brain operate. Every time you try to exert mental control over somebody, they suffer a massive seizure and die because you have no idea what neurons to fire off when and thus fire them all off simultaneously.
I wish the cable companies would extend service to my house. That way I could get high-speed internet. I see no reason why they shouldn't, since I live an entire three miles out of town and a quarter of a mile from the main highway.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Minionman - 06-06-2005
Lady Vashj,Jun 6 2005, 02:52 PM Wrote:Granted. But you seriously underestimate exactly what goes into making a person's brain operate. Every time you try to exert mental control over somebody, they suffer a massive seizure and die because you have no idea what neurons to fire off when and thus fire them all off simultaneously.
I wish the cable companies would extend service to my house. That way I could get high-speed internet. I see no reason why they shouldn't, since I live an entire three miles out of town and a quarter of a mile from the main highway.
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Granted. they offer cable, but do to a screwup, don't offer internet or any actual channels. You are now paying for nothing.
I wish I had really sharp teeth.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Occhidiangela - 06-06-2005
Minionman,Jun 6 2005, 03:28 PM Wrote:Granted. they offer cable, but do to a screwup, don't offer internet or any actual channels. You are now paying for nothing.
I wish I had really sharp teeth.
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You now have sharp teeth. You then accidentally bite a hole in your cheek, bleeding all over your date during dinner.
I wish the next EU Ministers meeting would be held in Antarctica.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Minionman - 06-07-2005
Occhidiangela,Jun 6 2005, 04:39 PM Wrote:You now have sharp teeth. You then accidentally bite a hole in your cheek, bleeding all over your date during dinner.
I wish the next EU Ministers meeting would be held in Antarctica.
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It is. The ministers want ot be comfortable, of course, and the heat produced by the giant office area they build launches a few more icebergs into the sea.
I wish I had a nice date in the first place.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Lady Vashj - 06-07-2005
Granted. According to my brother's girlfriend, he's a nice date. He's all yours.
I wish my lunch break was longer than ten minutes (at least fifteen minutes).
The Corrupted Wish Game - Jeunemaitre - 06-07-2005
Lady Vashj,Jun 7 2005, 07:52 AM Wrote:I wish my lunch break was longer than ten minutes (at least fifteen minutes).
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Your schedule has been altered, and your lunch break has been extended to 30 minutes. However, your coworker is now covering for you durring that time and has been awarded the corresponding amount of your pay. Your boss stops in during your second day with the new extended lunch break and realizes that your coworker is more efficient that you are and decides to let you go (even though we all know that the only time that SOB gets anything accomplished is when the boss "stops by"). Good news though, your newest revised lunch break is much longer and affords you the opportunity to step outside and enjoy the beauty of the Michigan summer.
side note: I actually already understand the whole every-other-friday-off thing, I was really wishing that I had that schedule, rather than comprehension of that schedule.
What I really wish (at the moment anyway), is that this ******* loan guy would get the idea that both my wife and I work, and stop calling our home number.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Lady Vashj - 06-07-2005
Jeunemaitre,Jun 7 2005, 11:17 AM Wrote:Your schedule has been altered, and your lunch break has been extended to 30 minutes. However, your coworker is now covering for you durring that time and has been awarded the corresponding amount of your pay. Your boss stops in during your second day with the new extended lunch break and realizes that your coworker is more efficient that you are and decides to let you go (even though we all know that the only time that SOB gets anything accomplished is when the boss "stops by"). Good news though, your newest revised lunch break is much longer and affords you the opportunity to step outside and enjoy the beauty of the Michigan summer.Ummm...I'm not employed. I'm in school, so ain't NOBODY gonna fire my @$$. I only have ten minutes between classes to eat lunch. And they're both lab classes, so I can't eat in class. Your corruption has not affected my life any. But I would so like to go out and enjoy the nice Michigan summer.
side note: I actually already understand the whole every-other-friday-off thing, I was really wishing that I had that schedule, rather than comprehension of that schedule.
What I really wish (at the moment anyway), is that this ******* loan guy would get the idea that both my wife and I work, and stop calling our home number.
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Granted. He starts calling your work numbers, your cell phones, your neighbors' home phones, your coworkers' work and cell phones, and all your friends' and relatives' phone numbers. Just for fun, he starts spamming all the e-mail addresses of the people he's calling. Every time you step out the door, he's waiting for you. Your application for a restraining order has been rejected. He's wearing a full Kevlar suit and riot gear. Your only hope is to wait until he starves to death or has a heart attack.
The Oracle registration system is of the Devil. I wish we could go back to BannerWeb.